DOIN' IT GREEK STYLE!!!!!

The wife and I just landed in Athens for an 11-day excursion in Greece.

Getting here was a bit of a fiasco. We were forced to travel in coach because our first class wait list never cleared. Our fellow passengers "in back" was the surliest crew I've ever witnessed on an aircraft. Half were a slew of elderly Americans on some sort of group tour, the other half were old Greeks returning to Athens. These crotchety, LOUD old Greek men kept us awake the entire time with their non-stop shouting and gesticulating, obnoxious dumping of garbage into the aisles, pestering the stewardesses for two meals, etc. They really were the worst.

Once we landed though it was smooth sailing. I love the run-down, rustic and dirty charm of Athens and am so relieved it is not some grotesque Disney front. The city and its people have a grit that is real and authentic. We can see the Acropolis from our balcony window, lit up at night in all its 3,000-year-old glory. The ruins are amazing ... it reminds me of Rome but smaller. Tonight we roamed the winding back streets of the Plaka district, sitting outside sipping Greek coffees at outdoor cafes and me discreetly eyeing the swarthy, dark-haired boys passing by. The weather is perfect but not too hot. Tomorrow we hit the National Gardens and the |Archeological Museum, and plan on popping some Xanex while enjoying the Temple of Nike.

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NAPOLEON AT "SUMMER CAMP" WITH THE HOUSE OF DOMINATION.

Our friend Lauren Pine is babysitting our fag child at her white trash country shack in Woodstock. As fate would have it she was a one-time Method go-go cast member at Jackie ... not sure what her House of Domination club moniker was. Parting with him was sweet sorrow. I handed off Napoleon's toys, treats and food to Lauren as he got in the car with her on Second Avenue and quickly had to flee before I started full-out balling. I'm such a cookoo dog daddy. Today she emailed to say he was sleeping on her porch and watching for horses.

We have noticed a number of stray dogs here in Athens -- heartbreaking. We tried giving them some of our dinner rolls but they shied away. Probably they are fearful after being constantly chased and beaten. Later we passed a pet store with a baby English bulldog in the window. The poor thing was neurotic from living its short life in a window looking at people he couldn't touch. Of course you can't buy into puppy mills ... it only creates demand and keeps such pet stores in business. But my heart really went out to the little tyke. I hope someone buys him and gives him love. I miss my baby.

The culture seems much more of a cafe-coffee house one as opposed to a drinking-pub culture like in London. Lot of people reclining in wicker chairs outside. Everyone smokes, though it does not bother us. We bought some kitsh white plaster busts of Greek gods to put in our bathroom at home.

keep well away from the awful Brits that flock there (my sister is one of them - she ran off with a waiter and now lives in Corfu, i think the worst isle too for German an Brit tourists). I bet Athens is a dream in a dirty kinda way....heh heh....
I can't believe how much u miss your babe.. i must be the Joan Crawford of parents when I am in JA i rather forget i even have a sprog!! But that often happens when one is running around the kingsized bed like a Benny Hill episode, its hard for one to gather ones thougths....
Have an oinkin good time and don't shout "Malaka!"

Me fave slag! What delirium a vacation with you would be ....

A plus about the UK/American tourists is that there are not so many of them at this time of year as it is not peak season yet. But the weather is gorge, gorge, gorge. Today we swiped extra bacon from the breakfast buffet and will feed it to the stray doggies we see.

There is something hot to me about cities where lots of people drive motorcycles and Vespas. I just think it's so sexy. Athens has a sensual, sleazy air to it. More later.

Yeah, I agree. The air in Athens is pretty sleazy. You could cut it with a knife. I hope you can stand the air pollution there. I remember it being worse than LA on a bad day.
But the boys and men more than make up for it.

Today we visited the staggering monument that is the Acropolis. Along the way up we passed many quaint outdoor cafes along winding cobblestone paths that we will re-visit for dinner tonight. The Parthenon brought tears to my eyes, it was so overwhelming with its massive columns high atop the foothill of all foothills overlooking the entire city. What a feat of human ingenuity, determination and design. Mystical even ... I could feel the ghosts of humanity passing near me as we wandered around it snapping photos. The Porch of Caryatids was impressive as well, even with the yacking Italian family jockeying for photo-ops. Beyond the steep wall guarding the Parthenon was the Theatre of Herodes Atticus, still largely intact. Afterward we toured the Acropolis Museum, with its many many impressive wall reliefs and statues of haughty Greek women and warriors of ancient times.

Later we wandered to the Theatre of Dionysos which there is barely anything left of. Nearby was the Temple of Olympian Zeus, surrounded by sweet-smelling olive trees and tall cypress. I felt like a character from Julie Taymor's 'Titus' as I gazed up at the huge Corinthian columns against the cloudy sky. If the ruins of Rome devastated me, these ruins slayed me altogether.

Our campaign to feed the stray dogs of Athens went well. The extra bacon we swiped from our hotel's breakfast buffet was well received by several sleeping pooches at the Acropolis. I was careful not to get too close as I flung the bacon slabs at them, just in case they have rabies or something. But they were all so drowsy with sleep it didn't matter. One dog by the Acropolis ticket office was so inert I actually paused to watch for the rise-and-fall of its stomach for a moment to make sure it was still breathing (he was). My Good Animal Samiratan deed for the day.

A good number of the Greek women have somewhat hard, masculine faces and really paint on the makeup, including many of the older ones. I have to love it.

The hot young chicks of the city are working an Electroclash 80s kitsch look. Our waitress at the outdoor cafe we had lunch at wore denim short-shorts, a horizontal-striped Pat Benetar blouse with poufed sleeves, black leggings, and those suede foldover flat boots that all the girls featured in high school.

I can see now why I've never heard people rave about Athens the way they do about Rome, Paris, Berlin, London or New York. When you take away the ancient ruins and a few old neighborhoods near the Acropolis, you are left with largely an ugly city composed of plain and ugly box-like buildings. Lots and lots of them. I couldn't even date them with a specific era, there were just so many dingy white, beige and off-white buildings with no character whatsoever that I couldn't keep track. I've enjoyed every second I've been here, but I can see that once you've hit the ruins and a few key museums you've more or less done this town. Still, I enjoy the energy and hustle-bustle and industrial feel, so very much like our own gotham.

Tonight we hit the streets to seek out the queer bars before heading off to our island cruise tomorrow. We asked a queen in some mens underwear shop for tips on where to go.

Spent last night having dinner beneath the lit Acropolis, then tripped over drunk to the Gazi section of town where we hit several gay bars. They were lounges, one was called S-Cape and was all done up in palm trees and bamboo. Very Robin Byrd meets Vegas. We went to another small called Almodavar that reminded me of the old Wonder Bar space. Small, kitsch. The gay bars are located in this industrial section of town that was very cool, post-apocalyptic. A few good restaurants tucked in there as well.

I'm still recovering from the Acropolis. Staggering to think that it was an ancient ruin even in Shakespeare's time. Everyone here is very friendly and everybody speaks English.

Now, off to our cruise. Must remember to pick up a swimsuit. More later.

I finaly caught up on your travel blog Lex.

First of all, it sounds like you guys flew over there with some of my family. (My brother & family are there now too). Good description of some of my uncles.

And Napolean is staying with "Cupcake Domination", a legendary House Of Domination girl. She can be VERY strict at times.
Lucky Dog!!!!

And I agree, Athens is great for a couple of days but get the hell out to the islands!
You will gag at the beauty.

And as far as the women looking a little hard...
Remember, all of us Greek boys learned to shave from our aunts.

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Daddy, I always wondered why Angel calls you Nairlip.

That's not why hon.

Greetings from scenic Mykonos, where we are spending one evening. I would have posted sooner but internet access aboard the Perla is too outrageously expensive even for my extravagent tastes. So I waited until we got into port here before writing another entry.

It is not peak season yet so the scene has not really picked up yet here in the 'little Venice' section of Mykonos. Still, the white and blue adobe houses are gorge and the bay is quite lovely. This is an island I'd be interested in returning to during summer, when I'm told there's an amazing gay beach called Super Paradise.

This morning very early we were in Patmos, the so-called "holy island" of the Greek Isles due to the fact that John the Evangelist wrote his portion of the Bible there . It's also home to this amazing monastary where he spent some time. We toured that plus an interesting nearby grotto. To get to shore we had to disembark from the cruise ship in these tiny slip boats, which felt very adventurous as we stepped from the wobbly gangplank on the deck. We had just enough time to get up into the hills and see those sites plus the most captivating views of the hills, bay and islands imaginable. The seclusion of Patmos has attracted stars like David Bowie, Bruce Willis and Tom Hanks who have come here in the past for privacy and quiet.

We were not prepared for how much we'd miss our baby. This morning in Patmos while climbing the hill to the monastary we came upon the very first small dog we have seen in all of Greece. The little thing was exactly Napoleon's size and was eager for us to pet him, which we did. (he was not a stray, he lived in the little souvenir shop where we found him). I almost started balling right then and there. Luckily I had my sunglasses on. From now on I think small 4-day trips might be better for us than long 2-week trips. It's just too much.

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WEIGHING IN ON THE TRADE: Athens vs. Istanbul

The Turks are the clear winners, hands down, no competition. In all honesty I was underwhelmed by the men of Athens. Oh sure, there were some hotties and a number of others that one would call "do-able", but by and large I was not terribly impressed.

The Turkish men are another story entirely. Walking the streets of Istanbul, literally 2/3 of the men we passed were unbelievably, ridiculously HOT. And a good portion of the other 1/3 were at least fuckable if not beautiful. It was the only time during the trip thus far that I was seriously getting weak in the knees as my suppressed swinging bachelor-slut gene kicked me in the groin over and over and over. Prior to leaving New York I'd wondered how I would handle my first international trip abroad as a married man and Istanbul was the real test. My resolve to be a good boy won out, but it wasn't easy.

Meanwhile life aboard the Perla is a hoot!

Our favorite part of the ship is the casino. It is very small with one blackjack table, one roulette table, one poker table and about a dozen slot machines. There is of course a live piano player who plays at a white grand piano with gold trim. We've been holed up at the tables nearly every night with the same group of old Greek men who smoke themselves into oblivion as they toss 50- and 100-Euro bills across the table like salt. We've been lucky and have won every night. The dealers are Serbian with names like Dragana, Igor and Slavika. They love us because we tease them and tip very well. Slavika is the manager, she is very tough and hard when dealing and has a face that could cut glass.

Naturally the live shows are monuments in tackiness. Even the posters outside the showroom are hideous -- we love it! They put on these acts where the dancers (three girls, two queeny twinks) dance in sultan and genie outfits interposed with singers in sequined gowns belting out show tunes in different languages. The dancers seem tired at times because they have other roles on the ship too. Sometimes there is a magician who makes his female assistant levitate. It's genius.

The ship itself probably hasn't been renovated since 1965. You can almost feel like Pamela Sue Martin in The Poseidon Adventure.

While in Istanbul we went to a traditional Turkish bathhouse. It was one of the most refreshing, incredible experiences I've ever had and worth the price of the entire trip. Mind you this was NOT a gay bathhouse where everyone lays around having sex. This was the real deal in an old Byzantine-looking building with surly, fat and hairy Turk masseurs who knead your body like dough. It's unisex but the mens area is completely separated from the womens. You wear a towel the whole time and the masseurs do not wash your genitals (pity).

You start by coming into this huge communal sauna room where you lay on this giant heated marble slab in the center for a few minutes along with all the other customers. Then one of the gruff masseurs comes over and washes your body with these special mittens that exfoliate your skin. They put these giant sudsy things all over you and then throw buckets of warm water over you. Then comes the massage where they pull and rub and it's borderline abusive but really incredible and fucking hot. They also continue with your head and face at special washstands. All the while you can peek at the other customers getting their massages. At the end they swath you in towels. Afterward you cool off in a private room with a cot. When it's all done you feel like a million bucks. I would fly all the way back just to do it again.