Prowling the streets of Rome in my white denim boot-cut jeans, Ive been getting a lot of stares and glances. The outfit probably screams "FAG!!" Hopefully it screams, "SLUT!!". At least the stifling heat forces the Italianos to take off their shirts. If only Id brought a larger suitcase to pack some of them in and take home.... (si segnore si) Anna Nicoles harpoon gun and net would come in handy right now.

The entire city looks a gigantic film set. The Italian women have a certain glamour even in 90-plus degree weather. Today I went to the Colisseum where ancient gladiators worked the circuit. Maybe the Romans had the right idea about feeding the Christians to the lions. Tomorrow I visit St. Peters Basilica and the Sistine Chapel. I hope the holy ground doesnt burn down when I set foot in it!

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I was there so many years ago. Do the fags still dance with themselves in the mirror at the discos?

Also, check out the mens room in the train staition. I remember it being the most bizarre
JO scene. Everyone was lined up whacking away right out in the open. It was as if all Italian mThere was no cautious behavior whatsoever. Even the attendant was watching!

Sounds like Grand Central Station in the old days. I will certainly check it out, Miss U. Graci for the tip.

The bath houses are a little slow, even at the normal peak times. Beautiful facilities with lavish pools and hot tubs and they even give you flip-flops. Its so civilized. But it seems a lot of Romans are on vacation in August. (A lot of the restaurants mentioned in my Time Out Rome guide are closed for August vacation too) However I was fortunate to score some local trade anyway, tonight in the form of this hot italiano daddy, 42 y.o. with wonderful silver hair, a flawless body and a mammoth sausage classico between his legs. On Saturday I nailed a 20-something statuesque Sicilian with the roundest ass and tastiest mangina Ive had in months. Delicioso! I just wish there were more choices so I could really whore out. Must remember to visit in some other season next time.

When confronted with the sheer opulence and vast wealth of the Catholic Church at St. Peters Basilica and the Vatican City, it pretty much confirms for me the whole sham of their organization. Hearing the stories about the scheming, power-mongering historical popes is both atrocious and funny. And the Vatican Museum is not even air-conditioned! I guess good Catholics are supposed to suffer in silence. But when all is said and done the grandiosity of it all really takes your breath away. How amazing that all these things and these magnificent structures couldve been created so many centuries ago with primitive tools and no technology. A real testement to human tenacity and drive.

And whats up with Michaelangelo? All those well-muscled male torsos and nudes in his work. Guess it was his way of finding some enjoyment while stuck to the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel for years on end.

Tomorrow I tour the Vatican Gardens and the Dome over St. Peters Square. Im gonna climb all the way to the top of those 332 steps if it kills me!

VESPAS ARE SEXY

Rome is a vespa city and I love it. They are as many vespas and motorcycles as cars, if not more. All types drive them too, old and young, men and women, yuppies, students, everyone. I want one. During the week you see these ultra-chic italianas whizzing by on their vespas in 5-inch strappy sandals and chiffon ascots or micro-mini-skirted business suits. This one fierce beeyotch was even kind of riding her vespa "side saddle" --- she had her long tanned legs crossed as she drove that motorbike of hers down via Nazionale.

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Gucci did not have that limited edition wallet I wanted. Damn. Some really gorge luggage though, types you dont see on sale in NYC.

Someone tried to pick my pocket! And on my very first day in Rome. This dyke-y looking pregnant woman came up to me begging with some sign. As I shyly shook my head and tried to move away, this other girl swooped in close to me and reached out to snatch my Euros right out of my pocket. Luckily I knocked her hand away in time just as this straight American couple came running up, the man warning me that they were thieves and witnessed them trying it on someone else just moments before. The pregnant woman then turned on the man and starts swinging her fists at him. What a steel-lipped little cunt. But she backed down when his girlfriend shoved her. After a few hours of paranoia, I got over it.

The nightlife is kind of a bust, btw. But I will take it with a grain of salt given that Im here in August. There is this outdoor thing called Gay Village that happens all summer long, taking place by the Tibor River on this block where theres a gay disco. Its kind of cute but nothing to elaborate on.

And Ari Gold is gracing the cover of this gay guide that is in some of the bars and saunas.

Enjoying reading your sexscapapades Lex. Of course all Europe is on that monthlong August holiday. If you are heading up north or to the south of France you might want to check out if there is a cut rate flight to Ibiza, since that is where cityloads of EuroUnion partiers head to. But there is no doubt you will get plenty where ever you land over there.

Rome... ahh nice to see you are open to the culture as well as the pinga!
Yeah I forgot it is Aug when most of Europe are away... I bet ya the s. of France will be jumping.. Ibiza (urg lardy lobster tanned Brits high on E - not chic luvie not chic). Keep posting the episodes and start walking down those streets like Dawn Davenport will ya!

Rome is the best ANY time of year!
It's funny, Chi Chi and I would have been in Rome right about now as well. We were going to go to Amalfi and Rome but our little pooch, Whitney Houston, is getting too old for us to leave for that long. She's 16. Oh well.
We've been there quite a bit. My advise is go everywhere and do everything!

Well great minds think alike then! Pity I missed you and Chi but your child comes first.

Today I toured the breathtaking Vatican Gardens, which are only open on certain days and by reservation only. So, so beautiful and serene. The Vatican City is totally independent with its own train station, radio, license plates, electricity, water, everything. The smallest independent state in the world with about 700 inhabitants, mostly clergy but also gardeners, repair workers and their families. I loved the meek little nuns walking around. And the Pope has his own helicopter pad! It was built in the 60s when President Johnson caused an uproar by saying he was coming to visit the Pope but without mentioning the Italians. The Italianis interpreted that as a brush-off and panned him in the press, then told him he would have to land at this charter landing strip in a horrible section of the country where homeless people live in shacks and boxes everywhere (claiming the main Rome airport would be too "busy" to accommodate him). The Pope was deeply embarrassed and didnt want Johnson to see the squalor, so he told his architects, "build something!" and so they built a helicopter pad at the edge of the Gardens where the tennis court was. There was this section designed as a mini-Versailles garden too. And there was this lady on the tour with me who looked so much like Justin Bond it was uncanny. Like, really. I kept expecting her to launch into a blood-curtling rendition of "Smells Like Teen Spirit" at any second. She let her daughter take all the pictures but refused to be photographed herself and she sat down on the benches at every opportunity while the guide talked.

The city of Rome must have rigid requirements of sex appeal for its male employees. The italiani police and city workers are all outrageously hot, even the santitation guys and the ones who paint the stripes on the street. The security guards at the museums are almost always gorgeous. Really throws me off balance.

ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP

Today after the Vatican Gardens I went to the Dome next to St. Peters. Its gigantic, I dont know how many stories high it is but its really tall. A lift takes you 2/3 of the way up. At that point theres a catwalk lining the inside of the dome, high above the Basilica, that you can walk along and see down into the church. I was determined to go up further to the very top, but once I got on this catwalk at the midway point I started having mild panic attacks as I looked down. A fear of heights thing. The catwalk is inside a 7-foot-high cage, so there is no danger of anyone falling. But still I was a little nervous, clutching the steel grids or pressing back against the wall to get by people. I thought I wouldnt be able to go any higher. But I knew I couldnt quit. From that point on up you take 320 steps to the top. Its daunting because the stairwell is extremely narrow, only slightly wider than my shoulders and steep. Everybody had to go single-file and the exit stairwell down was on the opposite side of the Dome. That means that once you start up you cant change your mind and turn back because you are hot or tired or whatever. There is just no room for that. No, darling ... Once you start the ascent you are committed and theres no turning back. So channeling Joan on her morning jog Im heaving up these stairs sweating like a race horse and my thighs feel like anvils. I had ran out of film earlier so I wasnt even capturing it on camera (pictures couldnt describe it anyway). But the feeling of reaching the top at last is so exhilerating. Emerging outside into the sunlight and seeing the panoramic views of Rome and St. Peters Square .... really heavenly. You feel fragile yet invisible at the same time. The looks on the faces of the other people said the same thing.

The night doorman at my hotel is adorable. His name is Guiseppe and of course I want to do him. Every night when I trudge in well after midnight he asks me for english lessons. Last night he asked me what the word "flawless" means. Boy did I give him an earful.

Well already its my last night in Rome so off I head to the sauna with a hard-on. Pray for my prospects. Tomorrow I leave for Florence for a couple of days and then onto the south of France. Stay tuned darling!

Darling Lex, I am so thrilled for you. Have a ball and enjoy the trip. Keep it coming. I hope you are stopping in San Remo at the casino. Built in the 1920's and beautiful. It's the last town before Nice on the coast, just next to Monte Carlo.

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Humm... Giseppe wanted to know what flawless meant.... did Sabrina recommend this hotel to you perhaps?????

Clitty, my twat! I'm glad to hear that you're doing so splendidly, even without the harpoon net and poppers. Your holiday has proved to be a real page-turner, so far. Not to mention a rather colorful history lesson. Where will your plodding, plundering pussy pop up next? Will your eggs Florentine come with a side of Italian sausage in Chapter Two?

Go down...where it's warm inside...

FLORENCE FRITTATA

Finally having a moment to relax here in scenic Florence. I arrived yesterday afternoon and leave early first thing tomorrow so Ive been rushing all around trying to fit everything into one day. Florence is a picturesque little city with a Renaissance feel still hanging over much of it. Today I visited the Accademia where Michaelangelos David stands, plus the Uffizi, the worlds oldest art gallery (built in the 1500s). I so enjoyed the view of Davids posterier. All this running around is exhausting but eating is an afterthought so hopefully I wont come back with a pasta belly.

My last sightseeing stop of the day was the Pitti Palace, a gigantic ornate mansion that was built in the 1500s by the patriarch of the Pitti family, a rich rival clan to Florentines legendary Medici dynasty. When you do escorted tours of these places the guides always have colorful stories and gossip about the aristocracy back then i.e. who hated who, who married or had affairs with who and who died young, old, etc. Especially about the painters who were basically the pop stars of their day. It made me wonder if centuries from now people will still be talking about how Sandra Bernhardt never forgave Madonna or how Britney got married for a day.

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