hi all
spy Greer Lankton pages at blitz kids site
http://us.geocities.com/greerlankton/

I LOVE your site... all these people I had almost forgotten, Pinkietessa, Tok Tok, Bell and Kahn, Ronny etc!!! But is there anyway to get an update in the website a where are they now... more of a biog for younger kids perhaps who don't know who these 'legends' were?'
But a great site!

Cheers, I have moved this message posted by Cinni, 09-30-05 01:20 AM as a second Greer Lankton topic into this, the primary Greer Lankton thread.

quote:

Hello peeps!!
I'm new to this site, but have been reading the dialogue about Greer. I'm an artist, post op trans, and quite a few years back I came across Greer's name when I was searching the net for info about trans artists. Not that it really matters what the heck a person is....art is art. Still, just wanted to see what other artists were out there that had experienced some similar things in life as myself. Anyways, though I have only seen photographs of Greer's dolls and Greer herself, I have become a fan of her work. I can't wait to go to the Mattress Factory to see the G.L. display. I feel sad that she died so young, and that there seems to have been quite a bit of tragedy in her life. I can relate to a lot of it...maybe thats why seeing even just photographs of her dolls has moved me so. I'm very glad that you have had this running topic about her, and that those that knew her (like JoJo) have been kind enough to relay some information about the artist and human that she was. Thanks. I put a little information about her on my website in the hopes that people will search out more info on her and her dolls. I hope people keep posting stuff about her and her life!!

Welcome, Chinni, to the ArtMaker forum. You will find Greer is much adored and often celebrated in this topic. Please continue to share your thoughts about her and her work freely here. However, when making future posts, please use the "reply" botton at the bottom of the screen and not the the "new topic" option from the menu.

I am Greer's niece, Cloey, the daughter of her older brother, Mark. I was sixteen when Greer died in her apartment of a drug overdose. I'm sure Jojo means well, he is wrong on a few accounts.
The revelation that Greer had been molested by Benjamin (the grandfather) came as quite a blow to the family as a whole. He had been thought of as a good man. I was about 12 when this came out. There were many family meetings and pieces were put together by aunts, uncles and cousins that showed him to be a truly evil man. All photos of him that had previously hung in our house were permanently removed. I no longer consider him a relation.
By the time everyone found out what had happened, Benjamin had been dead for over a decade. Unfortunately Greer was not his only victim, as is often the case. Our family is still dealing with the pain that he caused.
When Greer died she was living in a small studio apartment filled with both art work and junk. When my family went to clean out her effects they had to sort through used needles, empty pill bottles, dirty dishes and human teeth from god knows where along with personal items and art work. I know that things got thrown out that shouldn't have been. I also know that things got kept that shouldn't have, like the human teeth for instance, which are sitting at the bottom of a box in a closet. They had a limited amount of time to empty her apartment and were doing so under great emotional strain.
The reason her things were not handed out to her friends is there was concern that there were people that were only looking to profit from her artwork.
Also, at the time of Greer's death she and Paul had been divorced for quite some time. I'm honestly not sure how long but I remember them marrying when I was six and that it didn't last very long.
I would like to share with you a series of emails written in 2004 by myself and members of my family. I will try to add clarifying details where I think they are needed. I also took out some really boring parts about remodeling a kitchen and something about a vacation to Mexico.

February 9, 2004
Dear Cloey,
Had a nice long talk with Deirdre and your Dad yesterday. Your Dad told me about the speech you made on a person from another culture that had influenced your life. I was really touched that you thought of doing it about Greer - in fact it brought tears to my eyes. Do you you have any notes about it and would you share them with me? I would love to know what you said.
Love, Grandma (or as you say Gramma)


February 16, 2004
I don't really have any notes but I can tell you, more or less, what I said and what I wanted to say. The speech went really well except I got too choked up to talk near the end. Three of my classmates came up to me and said that I did a really good job.
I started off telling them that the year before I was born my father's younger brother, Greg, completed the process of becoming the person I would know her as. I don't think anyone initially caught the pronoun switch so when I held up a photo of Greer there was a bit of puzzlement and then light bulbs started going on around the room.
I brought in Nan's book "The Other Side" because there are a couple of really nice photos of Greer in it and it big enough that I didn't have to pass it around. I wanted to make sure that everyone would have the correct mental picture, I wanted to make sure that everyone was seeing Greer as human. Not many people have (knowingly) met someone who is transgendered and I was worried they'd all be thinking of Monty Python skits, John Cleese in a dress and all that. (Which, while very funny, has nothing to do with Greer.)
I told them that Granpa is a retired minister and you taught kindergarten and ran the camp kitchen. I tried to get across the fact that our family isn't a bunch of weirdos and "no wonder they'd raise a son who became a daughter." I think I did all right on that front.
I said that Greer's operation was never considered a dirty family secret, that it was all out in the open, not that anyone went around waving signs. I always got the feeling that when it wasn't mentioned it had more to do with everyone finding the subject rather boring, what with it being a non-issue and all. I don't feel like Greer's history was hidden from me. I remember Dad telling me, I think I was about six, and it was because I overheard him say something to John Morrison (I'm pretty sure it was John) about Greer's operation and I was concerned. He explained that Greer was born a boy and that her name had been Greg. I don't really remember the details but I do remember that it was kind of like when you're reading and it's getting dark but you don't realize it until some one comes in and turns on the lights. That feeling of, "Oh, huh." Suddenly it made sense to me why Greer looked like a boy in all of the old family photos, why Mom said once that Greer and Paul weren't going to have kids, things that it hadn't occurred to me to ask about. All these connections were made inside my head and the lights came on. I said that even if everyone else had wanted it kept a secret we probably would have had to tape Greer's mouth shut in public since she didn't make a secret of it. I was walking with Greer in your neighborhood once and there was this nice looking older woman coming in our direction, looked like she was probably rather reserved, quiet and polite. Greer took one look at her and then just as she was about even with us practically shrieked, "When I was a little boy!" and then launched into some tale of grade school or something. That poor woman missed about half a step. Greer and I both thought it was pretty funny. A lot of the people in my class thought so too.
We were supposed to talk about what this 'person from another culture' taught us so I talked about being yourself. Everyone always says "Just Be Yourself." It's one of the most common pieces of advice handed out, especially to children and adolescents. They all say it like it's the easiest thing in the world and the solution to all your problems. What no one seems to mention is that sometimes becoming yourself is a painful and ugly process. Sometimes people react badly to who you are. There are really two parts to the 'Just Be Yourself' message. There's the loud and clear, "Just Be Yourself," and then there's a very quiet and yet still audible, "as long as you're not..." A lot of people weren't very happy with Greer's self, she told me about being beat up and urinated on by the other boys at school. Greer's self wasn't exactly what society had in mind. But she did it anyway, she was very unapologetically herself.
Of course it wasn't easy, I think she let too much of the negative comments and attitudes get to her, she internalized the hatred that society flung at her and ended up hating herself. Not that she didn't try to ignore it, she did a lot of things to distract herself, but unfortunately her methods of turning off all the outside noise weren't healthy ones.
I told them that the last time I saw Greer was at my sixteenth birthday party and she was sick the whole time. Then four months later she died of a drug overdose.
So here are the parts I didn't tell them.
It doesn't sound nice but in a way I'm glad Greer died when she did. I never had to deal with her as an adult, she never called me to bail her out of whatever she'd gotten herself into and she never had to lie to me although she often asked me to lie for her. While I know that all the other parts of Greer existed my memories of her being the super fun aunt never got bogged down with other, crappy memories. I can pretend that if she had lived our relationship wouldn't have changed. I'm pretty sure it would have though, even at sixteen I was starting to notice the cracks in super fun aunt.
I also got the feeling that sometimes Greer thought I wasted having been born a girl. Like I was taking it for granted by not exercising my right to wear makeup and dresses in public without being mistreated.
After Greer died I had this really odd dream about her. She had taken over your house (I think you were out of town or something, maybe she banished you to a motel) and was using it for the headquarters of a new cult she had based on herself. I was angry at her for dying and I told her so to which she responded, rather annoyed because it was so obvious and I was interrupting her planning, "Don't you see, I HAD to die when I did because if I didn't then I couldn't come back and how would anyone take me seriously if I didn't die and come back?" I seem to remember her wearing a military helmet of some kind that was too big. For some reason, even though the dream wasn't very 'nice,' it made me feel better. I kind of think that if Greer were going to send me some sort of "it's okay" message it wouldn't include fluffy clouds and the light of god shining down. It would be a lot more like the dream I had, because even though it was a weird one the underlying message was the same.
It's now very late and I have to get up for biology in the morning so I'm going to close.
Love,
Cloey

February 16, 2004
Dear Cloey,
Thank you for your report of the Speech Class assignment.
I tend to be the sort of person who doesn't always learn while
I'm going through an experience, but when I look back at it & say, "Oh, is that what happened?"
I must praise you for a masterpiece of a letter. I was very
impressed with your story-telling ability. It was very informative of facts & personal viewpoints. Especially the observations about the death of Greer. Both of us still feel so thankful about how things worked. We had the feeling that she was getting in deeper & deeper, & that it didn't seem to have any good ending.
We also still feel amazement about how "calmly" we acted when we
found her body. We had all the necessary funeral plans agreed on
by the time we got home.
Greer's ashes are in a raised garden in our backyard. We
think of her often.
Grandma is going to respond, so I'll leave something for her.
Love, Grandpa
Dear Cloey,
I'm so pleased that you could share your thoughts about Greer with us. It means a lot to me. I think it is very creative to think of her life as having been from another culture. I had never thought of it that way but it does give an interesting perspective to viewing her life. I always felt that I could
understand her feelings but yet at the same time I also knew that there were many things I probably never understood. I was aware of the many times she suffered insults but never knew that boys had urinated on her!
My reflections now are pretty positive. I never have wished that she "hadn't been my child". I loved her and admired her abilities. She never laid a guilt trip on us for her life. When she came back from NYC and lived with us while working on her work for the Whitney Exhibition, it was a special time for me because I could watch her create. I often think about those times when I'm down in our family room. I'm grateful that she taught me much about life and what prejudice can do to a person. My sorrow is that she had to deal with prejudice all her life. She was fun to be with and had a good sense of humor and was a caring person. I was also very grateful that your Dad and Aunt Cathy were very supportive of her. I can't remember any times that they were embarrassed to have her as their sister.
I understand your feelings about her death. I didn't want her to die, but I also didn't see any good solution to the life style she led...so in a way her death came as a relief. I wished things could have been better.
I know others have been able to live through troubled times and I wish her life could have come to a better ending. But I'm glad she was my child!
The end of March Grandpa & I are going to Tennessee (he is helping to lead a men's retreat). On the way back we plan to drive to Pittsburgh and make plans to have her work shipped out to Cath at Klamath Falls. She has a building there where it can all be stored together.
Thanks for sharing with us. You're a very special person to do this, and although I'm typing with tears running down my cheek I'm thankful that you are my granddaughter!
Love, Grandma

February 18, 2004

Cloey,
G&G forwarded your e-mail about your speech about Greer. I thought it was a very good letter and easily the best tribute I've heard or read about Greer.
I especially liked the way you tied the idea of "being yourself" with the struggles and consequences of choosing that route.
It was sad that Greer went into such a downward spiral the last few years of her life and it was hard to watch and not be able to do anything. The last couple of memories I have of her were these. I commissioned her to make "doll heads" of you, me, Deirdre and Rain. I did this for three reasons. The first, I wanted something of hers. The second, I wanted to see how she
would portray us. And I thought it would help her- give her some focus, show her that I valued her work and be a way of giving her some money without just handing it to her (which was never good). She died before she could do them.
I remember your birthday and around that time I realized that
emotionally and in many ways mentally you had passed Greer. I think for a few years before then she and you were more like siblings that aunt and niece.
I'm glad you had that time together. I also realized then that Greer was crossing a line from being a victim to being a "victimizer". I don't think she always had your best interests at heart and I felt that I needed to protect you without getting in the way of the good things you were getting from her. I think it's a commendable that Greer was able to hold on for so long to the sweetness of her being while faced with the cruelty she experienced growing up.
What I remember of Greer the most was her amazing humor. She was very artistic and talented and I was in awe of her talents but her sense of humor is the first thing I think of when I remember her. I think the humor both saved her and doomed her. She was able to rise above some of the hurt with it but it also kept her from "believing" the AA crap that could have saved her. Sometimes you have to just believe in something and let it work
but she saw through the self delusion of that and didn't have anything to carry her through. Sometimes I wish she could have just swallowed the bullshit but most of the time I'm glad she didn't, even though she didn't survive.
She wouldn't have been Greer if she had.
You did an amazing job of giving value not only to Greer but of
everyone who is "different" and I'm very proud of you. We've been lucky to have known such wonderful people as Greer and John Morrison. When people say things like "how awful that gays can marry in San Fran" we call up images of Greer and John and immediately think "How can it be awful?" "Why shouldn't people
like Greer and John find happiness?" "How could that possibly be
right?"
Thank you for reminding me of that.
You touched everyone in the family with your creative way of taking a "school assignment" to a much higher plane.
Love you and I'm proud of you.
Dad
Have you shared your email with Mom? I think she should see it too.

February 18, 2004
(This one is from my Aunt Cathy, Greer's older sister.)
Hey Cloey!
Grandpa and Grandma sent me your email about your recent speech
class presentation on Greer. Sounds like you did a great job! I
know we all miss her and love her, and wish she could have
climbed out of her despair. But, it didn't look like that was
going to happen. At this point, I have warm memories about her.
She visits my thoughts from time to time....I never know when
that's going to happen....and, it's almost always good. We had a
great childhood together, even though I didn't have a clue what
she was going through most of the time. I guess that's the way
with most people, you just never really know what kind of demons
they are battling in their private heads. One of my sweetest
memories of Greer is: when we were kids she used to sit on the
floor by my bed in the morning, with her face inches from mine.
And wait, wait, wait until I opened my eyes. I would try so hard
NOT to open them because as soon as I did she would start yakking
at me...."good morning, Cathy! What are we going to do today?!"
On the flip-side (seems there's always a flip-side), she was also
the person who said to me when we were older: "god, if you can
pass as a girl, anyone can".
Love, Cath

February 20, 2004
Dear Cloey,
Your letter to us about your speech on Greer has begun a whole new chapter in the life & career of Greer, & we fully appreciate, in amazement what you have done to open up a new viewpoint of her.
We have collected all those responses & will send you copies. I hope to gather these together & print them in an appropriate fashion. You have done a wonderful thing for yourself, Greer & the family.
Love, Grandpa Lankton

February 21, 2004
(These are the responses from friends and family that were forwarded to me from my grandparents.)

Marge (Greer's aunt on my grandmother's side.)
Dear Marilyn and Bill: I awoke around midnight, could not sleep so turned on e-mail...amazing. I had goosebumps..read it several times. It is truly a beautiful tribute to Greer...what great insight Cloey had into Greer's life, personality, motivation, etc. It was so different from our "adult" point of view...how clearly children see things - particularly when you see Greer through the eyes of a six-year old. I hope you have printed it out and will read it now and then. Cloey has a beautiful talent of putting words together and you should all be proud of her. I am going to forward to my kids and ask Barb to print it out
for me. Thanks so much - it also reflects how beautifully you two
handled it all...a great inspiration to us all.
Love Marge

Marge (Again)
Dear Marilyn and Bill:
I talked to David last night and the first thing he said was" Hey, thanks for forwarding the speech by Cloey - it blew
my mind...what a great one!" He said he would be writing you but he is so busy, it might not happen but, like Barb and Sue, he thought it was awesome.
Well, Cloey has touched so many lives and through her has enriched Greer's life with this branch of the family. I would
like to print it out and send to Muriel and Max...I think it would be good (if not, let me know and I won't)...congratulations to Cloey, AGAIN.
Love Marge

Barb (Marge's daughter)
Dear Lynn and Bill...What an awesome tribute to Greer. The wording even in Cloey's abbreviated version was touching. It would be a nice thing to put the whole thing on the website that they have for Greer. It would be a nice balance.
My favorite memory of Greer was when she was visiting with you all and I had just had Mark Herman. He was only a few months old. I don't know if the surgery had taken place yet, but the transformation had begun. She was dressing as a female and she was Greer. She acted like a woman as she watched and held him, and that really impressed me. I don't think it is something someone can learn or fake. I do believe she was meant to be
born a woman.
I even told her once at the camp that she was a great "girl cousin."...and that the decision had been a good one. I actually think it was the anniversary of her surgery that day, but don't know. We were there in the summer, but I was also there in the fall that one year. I don't really know the date she had the operation.
I was also glad to see that Cloey brought out her sense of humor--the walk past the elderly woman when Greer said...when I was a little boy....
That one summer our family was at the camp at the same time Greer was, she became close to me and we had a lot of talks. And she did have a great sense of humor.
I think Cloey's speech/essay did a lot of healing all around. For me it made me feel more peaceful about something that often brought pain when I thought of it.
Love
Barbara

Joyce (Greer's friend from Junior High)
Hi Lynn, Thanks so much for sending me this very interesting email. I liked hearing about Greer from Cloey's perspective. It seemed to me like Greer stopped at age 14. I would imagine that she had a good relationship with Cloey. Greer was a lot of fun. She had the best sense of humor of anyone I have ever known. I miss her laugh the most.
Thanks again. Love, Joyce

Nancy (Greer's aunt on my grandfather's side)
Thank you VERY much. I've just used up three Kleenexes appreciating what a wonderful family I'm part of.
Love, Nancy

Sue (also Marge's daughter)
I absolutely love this, and am so impressed with Cloey. It will be required reading for Tim. My favorite part was about the two parts to "just be yourself", it it so true it hurts (thinking how I've given mixed messages to Tim). Also the part
about how Cloey felt that Greer thought she'd "wasted being a girl". Because I so strongly disagree with that, yet can feel poignantly where Greer was coming from.
Thanks for sharing this. Sue

(This next letter is in response to one I wrote to my grandparents expressing anger at what was written about our family by a friend of Greer's and by the media. I also asked them about their religious beliefs and how that affected their view of homosexuality.)

February 22,2004

Dear Cloey, Sunday Evening
We drove north to Evanston to meet with Katie(granddaughter of Grandma's sister-- 2nd year student @ Northwestern University). She's majoring in Theater--was in a school play this afternoon.
When we got home your 2nd E-Mail letter was here. It was wonderful. I want you to understand what a remarkable thing your 1st letter was. It has affected the whole family.
I want to respond to two things said by Marge & Barbara about putting your letter on the Website.
I wrote to them & recommended that they NOT do that at this time. MY REASON-- I want to collect all the letters & responses,
so the I could print them into a book for each family member.
I also wanted to include copies of a series of sketches & paintings that Greer did that described the way she felt growing up. They were pretty grim, but necessary to understand her grief & mistreatment.
Your letter is the most positive & redeeming testimony that anyone has put on paper. I realize that some of this is "church language." But, even for me, there are times when there's no other way of adequately describing it. What you've done is to bring her story & life up from Hell into Heaven. But, if we let the story become diluted it will be difficult to get it back.
At the Mattress Factory Gallery when we attended the opening of
Greer's art display we listened to a couple of "Art Critics" describe her work, your Dad said, Once an artist finishes her work she has no control over it. "
Love, Grandpa
PS: Grandma wants to add something----
Hi Cloey,
Well, you've revolutionized our life! This project keeps expanding in wonderful ways. Marge started the idea of sending off copies - when I sent your letter to her she sent it on to her children. Then I got to thinking about others that would appreciate it and sent it on to Juele, my sister Muriel, my nieces Pam & Lynn (who attended Greer's wedding in NYC).
We also mentioned it to some friends here in Park Forest and got good responses. One lady that worked at the library remembered when Greer had an exhibit while she was in high school. Her exhibit started out in the children's department and was soon moved to the main part of the library because her sculptures were of interest to adults too. She also remembered when Cath worked at the library and how proud she was when Greer appeared in Art Magazine and showed Greer's picture around at the library. A couple of other couples also mentioned how much they
appreciated us telling what Greer was about to do when she decided she wanted to become a girl. They said it made it easy for them to relate to her.
I'm going to mail you a copy of what I wrote for Greer's memorial
service - it may help to explain how we handled the changes. From the time that Greer was about 18 months old I had the feeling that life was going to be different for Greer. I have no idea how this feeling surfaced except maybe call it a mother's intuition. I mentioned it to her pediatrician who was also our friend - he had grown up with Grandpa. He
had good advice and said something like "we'll have to wait and see".
At this time the word "transgendered" had not even been in the vocabulary! We were aware that some people were homosexual but it wasn't an open subject like it is today. From the time Greer was very young, she loved playing with dolls, wanted to wear a washcloth on her head and make 2 pony tails with rubber bands so she could look like Cathy. She also loved getting into Cathy's clothes. She was a very pretty child and people would often say "He's too pretty to be a boy". This would make me
cringe and double my worries about the life ahead of her. About the time she started school we went to a psychologist because her desire to be feminine were causing her to experience ridicule from playmates. At this time the psychologist tried to tell me that the problem was that I had wanted a girl and I must be doing something to cause this. In the 1950's a lot of blame was put upon mothers. I knew that this was bullshit.
Your Dad and Cath always stood up for Greer, and I will be forever thankful for that. And as Greer grew older the ridicule became more intense. Children are not good at accepting differences and we did the best we could to counter this but the world always creeps in and it isn't possible to keep it out. About the time she was 14 she came to us and told us that she thought she was gay. So at this time we went to a therapist as a family to try and get help for her and us - not to try
and change her, but we wanted help in how to deal with this. The world was not ready to accept homosexuals and it meant that life could be very difficult. Then at 19 Greer had a mental breakdown and was hospitalized for a couple months...I can't remember the length of time but it was a very bleak period. When she was released she had decided that she wanted to become a girl. Greer really led us through each stage. She did much of the investigation herself and we merely tried to keep up with where she was headed. This was all new territory for us. As far as our religious beliefs - I felt if God was a loving God he didn't put people on earth so that they could persecute other people who were different. Our "job" was to be as loving and understanding as possible. I'm not a literalist when it comes to religion; and I never feel like I have all the answers but that's OK. I'm willing to wait and see what life and death are all about and in I'm sure this doesn't answer all your questions but I'm happy to keep the conversation going.
Good luck on your biology exam!
Love, Grandma


February 23, 2004

Hi Cloey,
Well here I am back again after a good 6 hour sleep thinking "oh, I should have told Cloey this". So this is to try and more fully answer your question "how did we get through this?". Greer never made us feel that her problems were our fault. She was unfailingly sweet to us even though she at the same time seemed to need our support. She was always very open about most things so we had some idea of how to be helpful,
but at the same time we knew there were parts of her life that were not an "open book" (which when you think about it, is true for all of us).
When she died it was in one sense a "relief" - not because we didn't love her, but because we couldn't envision how to get her out of the downward spiral. I don't mean to imply that we always did the right thing but we do feel that we did the best that we were capable of.
Another thing that helped us get through it was family support.
Grandpa & I have very different ways of dealing with stress. I tend to be a person that wants "to do something" about problems whereas he tends to be able to "step back" and think it through. Many times I would be almost a "basket case" and he would come along and "pick up the handle and carry me through it". Your Dad & Cath were also able to give us the feeling that they were supportive. I never felt that Greer's problems would divide our family - and that can often be the case when the "sick one"
needs so much help.
What I'm trying to say is that we felt that we had a huge support from family members. Marge was one of those people who kept in close touch and cheered us on. And now you have opened up a whole new line of communication that has swept in a fresh breeze. I'm grateful for your interest. As I look back, I don't think I ever thought of asking my grandparents much of anything. Thanks for doing that!
Love , Grandma

February 25, 2004
(From my mother to my grandparents)

Dear Bill and Lynn,

Thanks for sharing this with me! I've written a response--feel free to whittle it down or not include it; perhaps it's not what you're looking for. I look forward to seeing the book. What a nice tribute to Greer (and to Cloey) it will be.

Greer was one of the best artists I've ever known. She was my friend, Greg, before becoming my sister-in-law, but unfortunately, we didn't stay close.
I envied her her freedom to pursue her art, and she envied me my femaleness, which I took for granted and which Greer thought I could have done much more with. (Greer would be happy to know that I've begun dyeing my hair. Still no high heels and make-up, though.)

Because of Greer's struggles with her addictions and her views of what it is to be female, I sometimes worried about how she might influence Cloey. But Greer's love for Cloey, which I've been most struck by in photos of Cloey and Greer together, soothed my fears. I remember one photo in particular in which Cloey is enfolded by Greer's body and arms, and Greer is gazing down at Cloey and smiling, and from the look on Greer's face--it is sublime: gentle, happy and at peace--you would not know that
Greer had ever suffered.

I'm happy that Cloey could do that for Greer. I'm sure that Greer loved Cloey for who she is--like Greer, Cloey is feisty, chatty, creative and smart--but I think Cloey also gave something else that no one so near to Greer could give: love untainted by society's perceptions, love through the eyes and heart of a child. Cloey is the closest person to Greer who knew
her only as Greer, never as Greg. Cloey came to know Greer before Cloey knew the meaning of gender or even much simpler concepts and terms. Cloey knew Greer first simply as a loving person, as a person who loved her.

I'm just as glad that Greer gave Cloey what she did: an exceptional, artistic role model; an awareness and acceptance of and compassion for human difference; a healthy avoidance of addictive substances; and a deep and meaningful relationship with her unforgettable and beloved aunt. I'm proud of the thoughtful, compassionate, creative and loving person Cloey has
become and grateful for Greer's influence in Cloey's life.

Love,
Lisa

March 16, 2004
Dear Cloey,
Have another response to you "Greer Speech". This one was from Ruth, youngest daughter of Charles & Thora. Isn't it amazing how interested people are?
Love you!!!! Grandma

Sorry I have been so delayed in responding to your email. Dad gave me a copy of Cloey's speech and I really enjoyed reading it. I've had the opportunity to read it a couple times, and have to say that it has been a good thing to see this. I don't have a lot of memories of Greer because I didn't see her all that often. So consequently, I never really got to know her. It was great getting Cloey's perspective on Greer's life as
Cloey new her so much better than I.
My most vivid memories of Greer were when she still lived at your house (not sure how old she would have been)and we would come over at Christmas time. I know I was pretty young, but I remember thinking that Greer had a really cool bedroom. I thought the black light and black light posters made her about the luckiest person in the world to have a bedroom like
that. I remember seeing some of her dolls in her room even then.
I never had any idea of the problems she had when she was younger. Looking back, I wish I had taken the time to try to understand what was going on instead of just thinking "wow, that's weird." I suppose that had I taken the time to think about it, I may have instinctual known that her life couldn't have been easy. I just never took the time.
Out of sight, out of mind, you know?
Cloey's email, and the attached responses, really sent a message home to me. Gave me a new perspective on what it was like to be Greer and to be close to her. I don't know how to say it, it's not that I looked down on her or what she did, but at the same time I never truly understood. Never tried to really understand.
I'm grateful for Cloey's openness and willingness to share what was just life as usual for her. It reminds me that there's always more to people's circumstances that what's on the surface. What everyone else sees. That people make choices, feeling their way along in life, trying to do the best they can. What may appear to someone on the outside as incomprehensible, has a real and heartfelt reason to the person going through the situation. Who should know that better than me?? But sometimes we all need a reminder no matter how
well we think we know that.
Thanks again for sharing with all of us. It has certainly had a
positive impact on me.
Ruth

That's the end of what I have saved. We did end up printing a book which includes the preceding emails, artwork by Greer, family photos and an essay by Greer's friend Joyce. Copies were distributed amongst family and close friends.
At this point our family still owns the bulk of Greer's artwork including the items from her last show at the Mattress Factory. My grandparents are handling the logistics and it is assumed that, being the only member of my generation, the duty will someday be passed on to me. I would like to see her work permanently displayed in a museum under the condition that the pieces not be separated or sold.

I know that Greer often said she regreted having had the surgery, in part because it was badly done. However, I don't believe that my grandparents conciously forced her to make the decision based on the observations of other family members and close family friends who were there at the time.

That is really all I have the energy for at this time. I look forward to opening a dialog with the members of this community.

Thank you
Cloey Lankton-Lenzo

Thank you for sharing this.


I'm speachless.

Cloey, thank you for sharing this.

Cloey, Thank you for sharing this collection of letters about Greer. I knew her well for many years and spoke to her on the telephone about a week before she passed away. I loved her very much as did so many many people. She was so fortunate to have a great family like yours. You are a talented writer and story teller and I hope you continue to write. Greer is most surely sending you love and encouragement from wherever she may be. thanks again.

Bobby Miller

Cheers Cloey, your post is of enormous value to the people here on these boards who were close to Greer, and to all who come here in the future to find her, who she was, and what she meant to so many.

quote:

I would like to see her work permanently displayed in a museum under the condition that the pieces not be separated or sold.

It would be truly wonderful if you could make that happen. Good Luck!

In the interim, welcome to our community, and if you need any assistance posting images or anything else you wish to share that requires uploading – please email me. I'd be more than happy to assist you if I can.

i can only go by what greer told me.this is my truth.i have not told any lies.the family may hate me for still feeling this way....o-well.my truth is seeing her whole life in a dumpster,sad. i will keep the wedding dress as i know what an artifact it is to prove this.and i'm not making it rich saying any of this or off of any artwork i have,they are all relics to me .i can never have that time of my life back....and i miss it.i have never been able to have that patnership with anyone like that since the death of greer.i have tryied .i dont even feel i'm as good as greer ,but that strive is still with me,i still hear her when i make dolls....give it some ears , it looks like an alien. and to cloe' it was nice talking to you on the phone,and dont be mad at me, i'm just a drag queen who loved your aunty greer.and i happy to have known her, and i think she would be proud of me for the work i have done and still do, and for keeping her truth alive.

i was asked to give the wedding dress to cloey for her wedding coming up, this is something i thought you might like to know.so that she could wear it, or cut it up for a her wedding quilt.

Cloey,

Thank you SO MUCH for your post. I never, ever thought that when I started this topic that we would get such a touching look at Greer's life told by her own family members. I am just floored (and grateful) that you shared this with us. I know I'm going to be returning to your post to read it again and again.

My reason for starting this topic was that there was so little information available about Greer online. My biggest fear was that her memory would not be kept alive. Now I don't have to worry.

I was contacted a couple months ago by someone interested in putting together a retrospective of her work at their gallery. If you are interested, I can forward you their contact information.

Again, Thank you!
XXXOOO
Satori

JoJo - You were REAL FAMILY to Greer and have every right to keep the dress. The Both of you shared a bond that transends titles and blood. You do not need to be sorry or apologize to ANYONE .... You have honoured Greer, and her memory, and her amazing gift, by not only taking great care of what you have of her-but in your own art and by unselfishly sharing it with others since Greer died, thus keeping Greer, her memory,and her Art alive.
XOXO-Gigi
(P.S. Don't Fuck with My JoJO )

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Gigi Deluxe,

JoJo,
When I said that I'm sure you mean well I meant it. When I said you were wrong I meant that too.
I don't doubt that Greer said terrible things about my grandparents and other members of my family, and I don't blame you for believing her. I know where you are coming from as I've been in a similar position.
However, having grown up with Greer and the rest of my family I know those terrible things aren't true. I believe that everyone did their best with the information and resources available to them at the time.
The reasons I believe this so strongly are that I've never been one to not ask difficult questions or to just leave things be. Greer died at a time when I was going through a rough patch to begin with and she was the only one in my family I felt I could talk to, it was me and her against them. When I lost her I lost what I felt was my escape hatch and it sent me into a self-destructive spiral. If I hadn't suffered from panic attacks and agoraphobia I probably would have run away from home. Instead I tortured those closest to me, my family, Greer's family. I tested them again and again, pushing them away, calling them terrible names, accusing them of insensitivity and no matter what I did they always came up on my side. Which isn't to say they weren't angry with me for my behavior. I don't believe that they did any less for Greer.
As for the wedding dress, I want it not because I want to take it from you but because it was my grandmother's and Greer's and means so much to me. I tried it on when I was six and my grandmother took it out to send to Greer and since then I have dreamed of wearing it for my own wedding. That's nearly twenty years ago and I'm getting married in June of this year. Intellectually I know that it's just a dress but emotionally it feels like a very big deal. I know that it means a lot to you as well. I noticed that you wrote you would be willing to donate it to a museum if they took proper care of it. I only ask that you extend that same generosity to me. Whether I end up donating it to a museum sometime in the future or simply handing it on down the generations to my children and grandchildren, I can assure you that it will be treasured.
I don't want to argue, or cause bad feelings. I want to try and remember the good things about Greer, to share my good memories with others who also have good memories. I've had trouble doing that. I get too easily bogged down in my anger at her for being so fucking difficult to deal with, for dying when she did and leaving me with so many unanswered questions. For it being nearly ten goddamn years she's been dead and she's still causing me heartache, things that she said still fucking hurt. I would like to feel better.
Cloey

That is really cool Jo Jo that you were the only student of Greer Lankton. I love the art that I have seen at the matress factory. You are so right to care for her art and take good care of it. And you really have a big heart give the niece the dress to wear in her wedding. That is very kind. I bet Greer would be happy about it too. Just make sure she wears it and doesn't cut it! GL is probably watching over you and continues to guide you. I think spirits stay with us and what a force you get to have around you. You were lucky to have her for your mentor. Her work is excellent. I like yours too. You can see the influence she had on your work. I am not an artist but I think you both are really good. Does Greer have any work on display around here? In NY? db

i told you on the phone, i dont have many things of greer's.and to take the most prized of my collection.would just be too much,you have everything, and you told me so. why be greedy,you never even offered giving me something in its place? and i wont settle for just anything.you have a dream and so do i.i will take muffin out of the andy worhol show and sissy from your grandparents....nothing else....sorry, i saw greer work on both these dolls , and they mean alot to me, and sissy is not even finished,i miss him and love him, and as far as muffin , i had started paying greer for her but i have no proof ,as well someothers have had problems.i will not settel,and if no dice ...i'm still very happy with the dress, i'm done.and i cant believe , i would consider it.and if any of you think i'm wrong for this,o-well...we all have are price,..cloey ...your not a museum.i am

Actually, Jo Jo, I think that is a very fair solution. Cloey – would you consider leaving muffin and sissy with Jo Jo while you borrow the dress? This way you can use the dress, and Jo Jo can spend some time appreciating these dolls that mean as much to him - obviously as much to him as the dress means to you? If the dress is returned in the same condition as it left, I am sure Jo Jo would return the dolls. And if you need to alter the dress for your wedding, then you should keep the dress and let Jo Jo keep the dolls. I'm sure you two can come to some agreement of this nature. It's a shame to let this bitterness harden both of you. Yes, it would be very fair indeed, Cloey, to offer something of equal value to Jo Jo in return for the dress.

I agree with Tonya. And I also understand how JOJO feels. But for Greers memorys sake at least make an effort to come to an amiable agreement.

JoJo,
I can't give you the dolls because they aren't mine to give. All of the finished pieces that Greer hadn't given away or sold were at The Mattress Factory when she died and are now part of that collection.It will not be separated or sold for any reason. If things are as you say I'm very sorry, I wish that Greer would have left them with you instead of putting them in the show. Or given you something stating her intentions.
The last thing I heard about the dress, before finding out you had it, was that Greer had cut it up to wear to the opening at the Mattress Factory. You have avoided answering every time I've asked what condition the dress is in and I assume that, unless you were able to put it back together somehow, what you have bears little resemblance to my grandmother's wedding dress. Which is why I asked if there was a piece that could possibly be cut off and not be missed. I know that it's not what I remember.
If you want to give it to me that would mean a lot, but I'm not going to bargain with you or fight over it.
Cloey

well, the dress is in fine shape,gi-gi has said she will come over to photograph it so all of you can see it,the train of the dress was cut in half, but is still beautiful,i know for a fact sissy is at your grandparents house i saw him there,he will just be my fantacy, as will be GREER'S dress.everytime someone comes into the gallery they say" that bride looks likes she has been left at the alter".and my greer doll is very happy to be wearing it....on another note i have just bought two photos of greer off of e-bay, from the mattress factory show,i will share them, when i get them scaned,and whats funny is they are signed by greer?the photos were done by the late michael chikiris,but you can see in the photos how greer is very sick, but i love them.greer gave me a gift, a gift that i have teaching to stop animation students at the art institute here in chicago,the art institute has been sending students here to show what a gallery should be like,so funny.because my gallery is very like greer's apartment,i too have drowers of teeth and eyes but its very victorian at the same time the walls are packed with art, you are wacthed in every room by dolls,thou mine are happier....greer delt with pain all the time and it shows in her art work, i deal in fantacy, i live in a fntacy world,where greer is still alive, and she hangs out with fairies and drag queens, and punk rockers...this is my life and i wouldn't trade it, thank you mother boards for leting me fight on here, i hope to never fail you,i keep it interesting dont i, kisses

thank you gi-gi,god shes quick