I think it would be GORGEOUS if Oscar nominees were made to switch outfits the night of the ceremony. Imagine Cloris Leachman wearing Hilary Swanks gown?? It would be genius at what would work and what would be RETARDED. Sad thing is, all the girls would have to keep Kevin Spacey ut of their clothes.

I think it would be genius if they switched face lifts. Can you imagine Joan Rivers' on Hilary Swank?

Or Star Jone's butt lift on Ahhnold Schwarzenegger's mug.

Or Wesley Snipe's breast implants on Sean Penn's cheeks.

Or Sting's nose job on Cher.

Or Barney the talking dinosaur's pinned back ears on Bart Simpson.

From last week's New Yorker, heh heh!

Stop it MM you're killing me!

PLEASE CRUSH MY VIDEO GAMES!

Kinky letter of the week:

> Hello Mistress Darling
> I was looking for a strong controlling mistress that understands a kind of strange fetish its called a crush fetish, let me explain my particular fetish is of a beautiful sexy woman take my expensive video game equipment and crush them under her high heels while laughing and degrading me.
>
> Now here is what I am looking for if you would be willing to do this with me, a truly cruel mistress that I could send my games to, who would enjoy dominating me over the phone and laugh at me and make me listen as she crushes them under her high heels. You see part of my fetish is that you will have complete control of the call, and I will be helpless to do anything to stop it from happening. I would like to be able to watch you on cam also.
>
> It's a weird idea I know but I would like to try it out with a evil mistress who does not care. Well I guess if you might me willing to do this with me please let me know. and maybe if you would be willing to do so if I payed shipping, you would send them back to me crushed, and maybe email me pictures of you crushing my games at the same time. Well let me know if you would like to do this. Thanks

S'tan, I think this is from the same guy who emailed me saying he was the son of the late Sonny Abacha, President of Nigeria, and he had, like, forty million dollars in an account he wanted to transfer to mine.

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Seven, you mean that offer from a Nigerian statesman to deposit millions in Merlin checking account and keeping some for the effort wasn't for real? it seems like such an official eamil.

LOL.

Damn S'tanley,
You should write a book!

I need a secretary.

Thing told me since the Adam's Family is not going to get taken up by FOX it is looking for employment S'tan.

I could see S'tan with a secretary like that movie "Secretary" LOL

Thank you for the suggestions but
no more high-maintenance employees for me.
A nerda intellectua who knows the difference between a colon and a semi-colon will do just fine.

In a tight sweater of course!
I think I know the gal for you S'tan.

Thing isn't very high maintenance S'tan. Just a manicure once a week. No employee health insurance needed. You just have to watch out for its groupies.

And Daddy if your sugarmama is going to work for S'tan then who is going to take your dicktation?

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OK what are WE thinking about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes... he was gushing on Oprah that he is thinking of marrying her! Just acting over the top giddy etc... real odd... whats the dillio?

another hot young starlet on the rise bolstering her hollywood status by acting as a beard. this way she can move up from interviews in rolling stone and teen people to features in vanity fair and vogue. maybe she's really smart.
didn't lily used to be close to her? i wonder what he thinks.

He's really seeing Katie Holmes' brother.

Didn't a certain flower of the valley go around with Miss Holmes there for a while? What gives, sister?

Yes, time to confess.