I realize we live in a volatile world, and many topics and postings here can push buttons and gnaw at raw nerves...HOWEVER I must say I've noticed an unnerving trend on these 'boards that mirrors climate change in the world at large: character assassination and shouting down others who do not share similar opinions or views.

Working from home this summer gives me more time to check in and make contributions here in what I've always considered "safe cyberspace" among my allies and friends. Thankfully we do not always agree and often come across as kooky, opinionated, stubborn freaks who can hone and polish our artful banter. I glean a lot of information and knowledge from the people who make thoughtful contributions here; no need to threaten them or try and scare them from posting just because it doesn't fit another one's agenda.

Specifically, in the Madonna and the Kevin Aviance topics, I see people resorting to childish insults and vitriolic bashing. It does mirror how the world is threatening the art of discourse, but if I wanted this sort sniping I'd tune in to Fox.

I find Bart's sniping quite cute.

I think it's also because The Motherboards are so much bigger now. They are like a hundred times bigger than when we first started.
Over all I think they are pretty civil considering how many nut cases are out there.
We have only deleted a couple of posts in the whole herstory of The Motherboards.

I did delete the one in the Kevin Aviance topic because it was just hateful, stupid and would only give this nut job a platform to spew insanity when people got mad and started answering. (I know you read it Mr. Joe and answered wisely).
They were just trying to stir up the hornet's nest.

As far as the "Madonna snipe", I think that's just your run-of-the-mill-queenie-club-kid-bitch-slap. I'm sure Shane is used to it and can handle herself. (She has no problem sparring with me after all).

But trying to have a conversation with a crazy Christian Fundamentalist psycho who thinks Matthew Shephard got what he deserved is pointless.

Delete.

Bravo daddy.

Mr. Joe, thank you for starting this topic.

Since I am often logged in to the boards but not actually reading them (often to do back-end work on our software) sometimes I miss posts (like the Kevin Aviance/Matthew Shephard horror) for quite some time.

I would ask any user who is bothered by a post containing hate speech, criminal activity, character assassination, etc. to please use the caution sign icon located to the right of the date in every post. That will immediately send me an email (or any moderator filling in for me with Admin priviliges) with the text of the post in question, so that I/they can address it - either by leaving the post (with an explanation of why to the complaining member), placing the author on moderation (which means an admin has to approve every post by that user before it goes live) and in some extreme cases, remove the post altogether.

The rules of engagement here are ultimately decided by the community, and this community has spoken civilly for the vast majority of perhaps 150,000 posts in our 5 year history. I now ask you to help define acceptable behavior without drowning out free speech, and alternate viewpoints.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Chi Chi,

Right on, Empress! In retrospect, this trend I mentioned is so much more visible with the general bloating of the blogosphere (I remember a time when cable TV was fun, informative and engaging). I'll just have to narrow my blog readeing back down to Messy Bonnie and Nancy Isla; my life is so much more productive that way.

The spirit in which most everything on here is posted is why I keep coming back to the 'boards. It's my posse, yo.

But thanks for the tip Chi Chi; I wasn't aware of that feature.

dear mr. joe,

controlling others never works. controlling ourselves might. you write well, it is fun to read your posts. yes, setting an example always helps as people can take their clues & 'tudes from community leaders. building peace among us requires constant repetition of the sought after style. we only learn thru repetition and example. chi chi and johnny are adepts at this.

doing as we say might help also. tho preaching never works. merlin has made all these mistakes and enjoyed every moment of the learning curb, and still ain't done yet.

this concept of everyone has to be nice (over simplied for discussion) is being used by many religionists and even george bush to end debate. yes, they say 'we' can abuse you verbally and physically anyway we want while taking our rights away and the rest of us have to take it. we have to be nice to them...... bush says it all the time to control the topic, the conversation, and public focus - dishonestly, while screwing us all in war and peace.

form replacing substance has been used against merlin often in writing on the net tho not on the motherboards. merlin has heard this demand to conform that dulls the topic and takes away the outrage. how many motherboard members have been told by someone in their life to shutup and sit down cause they were not part of a collective norming being shaped intentionally to exclude us.

merlin says read shakespear for examples of great insults, hone our language and come back just as frank and compatitive as our hearts will allow. its more fun to read a creative rant than a plea for comformity anytime. and this plea is not a rant. lol.

writing is an art form we could all learn something about, there has been a respect for the individual at mothernyc like no other place on the planet. the individual reigns -- in outrageousness that sometimes requires an impolite streak of self truthfilled rant blended with our own self promotion.

and that is what is revealed, our own true nature in our speech and projections in this forum. Mr. Joe enjoy it all tho keep your vigilance and speak up each time, it will make the difference. we can all practice subtly yes, practice some restraint, yes. just keep exchanging ideas and let us tell each other about our rage with the abilities we have while learning to do better as oprah would say.

in love,

merlin

side note: merlin writes to the christians on the net, (groups google - merlin or merlinator@gmail.com to read some posts) when merlin began every other religious post on some sites was 'all fags should....... all fags should get......, god hates........' tho thru years of persistance talking back and (believe this, those guys hated it) these topics have disappeared. only thru patience and constant mirroring what others say in hate disquised as love can we change hearts/minds/and the style of conversation.

thanks for the topic, this post is way too long sorry about that.

Mr. Joe delightedly picks up the veils of knowledge and experience that Merlin casts to the cyberwinds of these 'boards!

I know I've made some catty comments as well, and I can also get pretty PO'd at some people who don't share my POV on subjects...I know why some of you queens hate Madonna for example, and they a obvious and legion. I also hate conservatives and Born-again Christians but I enjoy talking to them if I have to or if they happen to be a family member or a friend or acquaintance. You can disapprove without name calling, and defamation of character. I'm trying not to respond when some said something stupid or mean or whatever, and sometime the temptation is to strong to not be civil.

As I have been accused of flaming, and being trite, I don't know why I respond to any post that I have two cents to add to the conversation with a response.

Don't sweat it Andreabicsotti...Darla brings out the worst in people. And there is freedom of speech here on the MB's as long as we don't get mean or evil which I do not think that you are. Just smart and clever and young and fresh and I applaude you.

I ain't evil, I just got a big mouth, and it can get me into trouble so if I say something stupid please tell me! I think we all realize, and you all probably do realize that there are different types people who believe strongly about certain things and I do have some very strong opinions. We all get our kicks in different ways and believe in different things, and I extend the laurel wreath to Darla and anyone else because I shouldn't hold any grugde against people, you know what I mean?

About merlin saying that Shakespeare is good for insults--so are Wilde, Coward and anyone else you've read that has any good insults to steal from.