read this -

CD article from Atlantic Monthly in April 2002.

http://www.yvonnesplace.net/news/atlantic_monthly.htm

And the rebuttal



http://www.gendertalk.com/comment/openletter-bloom.shtml

thank god for eddie izzard's reclaiming of the term transvestite - i like that a lot more than cross dresser.

i've never read a more dead on article regarding the hetero cross-dressing community. neither good nor bad (in terms of judgement) but it does encompass damn near every experience my wife and i've had in dealing with this particular part of the transgender community.

it is just OUR experience with that segment of the community but WOW... i'm really really really uncomfortable with that being the image projected to the world at large.

i should say that this comes from a e-list my wife runs. we're sort of an ex-pat group who've been kicked out of 'support groups' run by some of the people in this article.

hopefully i'll get my lady to post as well as she's dealt with a lot of this stuff.

p.s. hola rose royalle. my lady and I will never forget how wonderful a waitress you were at click and drag. wonderful to see and read you here on the motherboards!

p.s.s. jesus, mary & joseph! i'm so psyched to finally post to the motherboards that it takes me 2 edits to make this say what i want! sheesh...

[This message was edited by daddy on 06-05-02 at 02:01 AM.]

I just fixed up the links for you. The first one didn't work.

Hey ladies,

Of course I remember ya'll--How's the acting career? Tried to reach you once through the troupe you were with but no success.

So glad you posted--it really makes me feel good to run into or finally hear from folks from the old days. It's also great to hear that you are still being true to yourselves!

I would like to E-Mail you privately or phone if that's possible. I'm going to be working on a project that I would like to talk to you both about.

There are a few cool places to go to so let's be in touch.

All Best,
Rose

since my husband has already said i would post, here goes...

(but first, a hello to rose! wonderful to find you again, & i think betty is just now sending you a private email)

& the one thing i need to add: isn't there anyone else like us out there? the cd community is either deeply closeted or terrifically unhappy (sometimes both) & we often feel like a scientific specimen when at clubs (the exception to all exceptions was click+drag, of course). even when we explain our situation we meet with a lot of disbelief... because my husband is a tv, gay men can't believe he's straight. because i'm with a man who dresses en femme, lesbians can't believe i'm straight.

& straight people... well they just don't believe we're anything except messed up.

it pains me to see the only national organization for cds is so intent on making us 'normal' - & my honesty with the people who run it caused me to be forcibly ejected from several support groups (that's why i started my own).

i'm firmly of the opinion that cd-ing men are transgendered, & in some senses have the least opportunity to feel part of the tg 'movement.' most of the time that's by choice (ie the closet problem) but i find our insistence on our sexual preference and/or gender presentation baffles most, & we don't feel we fit in - anywhere. even within cd culture... so often the man's cd-ing is construed as a problem, & so is very support-oriented. we don't want support - we'd just like to meet others who 'get' us

just a few thoughts... but i'd love to hear from others who are in our pickle...

helen

I don't know if there are alot of people on The Motherboards "like you" exactly but there sure are alot here that "get" you.
I know what you mean about the "support group" thing. You don't need "support" necessarily, just some like-minded souls to be with- either at a party like Click & Drag or in cyber space here. Well, welcome to the party!

And have you seen this topic?
Can We Build a Less Prejudiced TG Sense of Community?

daddy, thanks for your lovely welcome & for pointing me toward that other thread... i am happily reading, totally loving the conversation.

helen

Hi Bettysgrl

Welcome to the boards. I know how you feel and though I think support groups have good intentions, thier not for everybody.

I think what a lot of straight cd's suffer from is the "where do I fit in blues?" The easier said than done solution is to just be yourself, but the reality of our societal constraints sometimes dictate otherwise.

Anyway, I may be able to help lead you to some individuals that are like minded. Feel free to email me.

feel alone no lobnger, when I came into this ammazing group of people, a few years ago I didnt know which way was up, . I felt alone I was scared, I felt messed up. Now I feel much better about myself I can express myself now. If it wasnt for most of these people on the boards I dont know where I'd be now. there are many accepting , loving people here, and yes you are welcomed...
ps let the truth set you free!

colleen & helin, thanks for the welcome! we are setting ourselves free as fast as we can - tho wow it was easier when click + drag was once a week

So I hear, although I never made it to click and drag. But as Daddy once told me..we're part of a new era. The Mother Board era. Which is getting better all the time.

Yeah, The Motherboards are very exciting. It has that same feeling as starting a new club. First it's just family. Then it starts to grow with new faces. Then it explodes! (Then it gets raided by the mayor's special task force)

Who knows...maybe Bloomie will be to occupied running the schools and then we can run the city!!

Yeeeeehaaaa...Everybody get naked!!

helen and i were old click & drag fans (never made it as much as we wanted to) and then just dropped from going out when mother closed - nothing else was much fun (the 'cabaret law' effect, grrrr)

now we've made it to a couple of things - thanks to the motherboards

now if bloomberg would only drop the 'cabaret license' nonsense....

thanks to all for their kind words - see you at the mothership!