Im curious...how many of my sisters are everday, professional, business women college stuents?

I often feel like im the only one like me. I hope im not in the boad alone.

How many have legal female names, female sex marks on ID boxes etc?

Desiree'

Desiree'
http://f1.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/bham_mark/detail?.dir=/2003+NYE&.dnm=Desiree.jpg

Desiree', I for one live around the clock and work in an Aromatherapy store in the West Village. I legally changed my name before the Supreme Court of New Jersey in June of 1996, and did it myself without a lawyer. My New York Drivers License (Which I got while living in the West Village)states "F" not "M", but Social Security states "M" because they wanted to see the papers stating that I had my penis inverted into a vagina. My present employer as well as a past employer (A Different Light Bookstore) both had me down for Workers Compensation as a female, despite the fact that I still have a penis, and the employer pays more for women than men for Workers Compensation insurance. By the way, my full-time transition from M to F cost me my job in July 1995, and I tried to sue for discrimintation but was told by a lawyer handling such cases that the company was too small. He only would go after them if they were IBM or other big fish. Nonetheless, it was the best thing that happened to me in that it tossed me like a tempest from the sticks of Upper Greenwood Lake NJ, to the shores of the Hudson River and Manhatten, and all of the wonderful people and things that have come into my life as a result. Allowing myself to live as Stacy Amber has shed my old skin like a snake, and live the life I should have been living all along, along with the life lessons that had been deferred until now.

Since I could remember, I've always wanted two things in life. To live as the person I was supposed to.(a women) and as a career driven person. Today I do have both. And Stacy and I are not the only ones who are joining you in that boat. I have several transgender friends who are working in all area's of the professional spectrum. I recognize also that one could get discouraged seeing most of your peers in the escort business. If you search around some recent posts (edelweiss for one) in the last month you'll find a whole discussion on this subject and how it is perceived in our community.
It's girls like you who may be able to change the awful sigma TG's have in the world today. All the best to you.

Are you the Stacy that I met years ago who does Tarot readings (among other things)?

Yes I am. I remember you too from Click'n Drag when I used to read there. You always looked so cute! As I recall you were involved in interior decorating the last we spoke (which has been a while).

Ladies, as a man who has relationships with tg women only, I want to be one voice that throws support to your commendable life endeavours. Ladies like yourselves are so important to any kind of stability between guys and tg ladies. The more you tell your story, the more guys can come to respect the community of ladies as a whole.
The result being?
Guys won't be so obsessed with sex so that that's all that wrinkles gray matter. Maybe guys will want to "be seen at high noon in a coffee shop" with someone they can do more with than just sweat together. Don't get me wrong about sex. It's just that the overwhelming flow of grrls in the sex industry is titilating to the senses but destructive to the heart.
Also true "working" grrls can raise the bar for the escort community. The more success "working" grrls have could help members of the escort community get off the hamster wheel of the biz.
I'm sure there a lot of grrls in the escort world who could make just as much if not more $ with their minds as they do with their bodies.
Fight the good fight, Ladies.

What a memory you have! I hope to see you again soon!
Are you still reading the Tarot?

Well, I have been going thru my transition now for 2 years, and I am 24. my career is in Classical and Sacred Music. I am a "legal woman" except for the Social Security Administration, which of course cannot say im Female until I have surgery.

Im actually hoping to move to NYC because i know it will offer me more as the capitol of the music world, and its just more open minded.

As for the stigmas that surround us TS/TG women, I wished I could wave a wand and make it all go away. It hurts those of us who are young more than those who are older. I wish I could make the porn industry put a disclaimer on all "shemale" pornography that "the lifestyle choices of the transsexual women here do not represent the lifestyle of transsexual women as a whole"

It hurts me so much to know that I cant find the relationship I want just because I am transsexual. All too many guys want a first time fantasy, or they say they only want to treat me like a slut and that I am not capable of a loving, emotional relationship. Some of those that do want to get involved with a TS woman always want us to stay non-op, and Im sorry, i will have SRS someday. Maybe things are different in NYC. In Chicago they are really shitty.

Desiree'

Desiree'
http://f1.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/bham_mark/detail?.dir=/2003+NYE&.dnm=Desiree.jpg

Alot of people may downplay this city, but there is no better place for gals like us. There are many professional T-girls and others doing wonderful things. I sence that you are fed up with all of it. But keep your chin up.
There is hope and great people of all kinds in New York.
I see that you posted on the Edelweiss section. This post has some great comments and touches everything you just discussed.
To let you know, Club Edelweiss was a club on 11th ave.and 44th street. It was overrun by Tranny Tricks and eventually got shut down. I lived in Hells Kitchen at the time and I'm not ashamed to admit that I was the first one on our block watch to join in the fight. I, like you, began to see that this shit was directing the way people felt about me. To read all about it here is our old web link.
http://www.tenant.net/pipermail/hkonline/1998-April/000061.html

But it doesn't have a happy ending, the scumbag opened a Club Edelweiss in a different section of town. Same shit, different mayor. I live in Battery City now and there is no clubs. thank god.
If you want to read some inspiring words and great hope, go back to Edelweiss and read Show Producers last post. It will make you think that we do have some on our side. He seems harsh at times but he's dead on. You know, it like tough love, but it is love. Something we don't see everyday.

Lad, I don't seem to get out that much lately. I keep meaning to make it to Cabaret Magique but haven't yet. Work and home seem to have become my routine. One of these days I hope to make it to Magique or another party, and look forward to seeing you.

Perhaps you can make it to Magique on 1/21/04, it's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to!
At my new age there is a lot to cry for! Especially since I have no "work' to go to!
Pehaps you could read my tarot? We could make it early!

Ah you are Aquarius like me (I am Feb 17). That night (Jan 21) is also a New Moon which will make for a more meaningful and serene reading (New Moon in Aquarius). Sounds good to me. The reading will be my birthday gift to you. How early? Early is good for me.

I've touched around this issue and have tried to be sympathetic to grrls in the game to the degree that I could. I've heard how hard it is to make it as a tg woman. How people can make you life hell. Even to the point of physical harm. I can concur to those and many other notions about the "life" for the grrls. But let's be for real. That business is a dangerous, risky prospect. Replete with as many if not more chances to run into as many if not more problems than a regular jobs. I've heard some grrls can't smooth the "passing" scenario as well as others.
Given all that some grrls are making incredible amounts of $. I cruise the 'net. I've seen those ads. Grrls are making 2-5 hundred dollars a hour. Even a thousand dollars over night. Can you imagine? $1000.00 in one night? For sex? With that kind of money- I can't be sympathetic anymore. With every choice in life there's good and bad.
The other contention is the power quotient. As many grrls know they have a aura that makes a lot of these guys out here just melt. I was reading this article in tg periodical about a guy interviewing tg escorts. The guy would interview the grrl and when a trick would come he would hide in the closet and watch and listen. More importantly the guy would listen in on the calls from tricks. The tricks would be nervous and shy. Damn near docile. The entire gamut of guys would visit the escort. Married, single, etc.
Tits have power. Ass has power. These elements of the body keep our eyes glued and our members hard. Grrls are always talking about guys only think about sex. Guess what? We have needs. And why is it that we're labeled as thinking about sex all the time but escorts and whores are not?
Last point. Why is it that grrls who know that we are attracted them because they are pre-op don't understand when we aren't feeling them the same way once they become post-op? Do grrls think guys are secretly hoping they will one day they will become post-op? Some maybe but obviously not all. Somethings to think about.

Before I go any further...the use of the spelling "gRRl" makes me feel like we are not worthy of being called "girls". No offens to the person using it, but i know lots who don't care for that spelling, as it singles us out. I don't feel any different of a woman that the very woman that i popped out of on a June night in 1979.The spelling "gRRl" just makes some continually feel in-equal to genetic women, especially when some of us feel no different than GG's.

I would not wish Gender identity issues upon anyones born or unborn offspring. I sometimes thinkg baout stopping my transition, because i'm fed up with men seeing me as a sick, slutty fetish.It does hurt. Im not going thru a transition to be the piece of ass for some married or attached bisexual guy or closeted homosexual. But if i stopped, i would not be myself. I would be something that i am not: a male.

I am going thru my sex change because I have identified as a female since i was 5 years old, something that my very own loving mothe rcan attest to. I have been naturally feminine all of my life: meaning my femininity was never forced (such as actions, voice, looks). I think if guys who are so interested take the time to understand that transsexuality is a condition and not a choice it would help. People that feel a 100% disconnect betwen the mental sex/gender and the physical sex/gender are born transsexual. The mother bearing them may have taken androgen blockers during pregnancy, which would have created hormonal imbalences in the placebic bath the child was carried in.

it seems like either way i am doomed. i cant be a man...its not me. I m not even attracted to straight acting homosexual men.

Desiree'
http://f1.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/bham_mark/detail?.dir=/2003+NYE&.dnm=Desiree.jpg

Wesley, I hope I don't come across as a livid bitch when writing this.

You comments are good, But i did want to add some things.

commenting on the way guiys think about sex.
Yes...men do think about sex all the time. however, for someone who has similar desires as mine, it does not feel good to be seen solely as a sexualy satisfying thing. Don't get me wrong, i certainyl wans t to be sexy and sexually satisfyinh to a guy that is interested in me, but it does not personally feel good when thats all a guy sees in me.

As for the comments on being pre-op, Id like to say this.

Most transsexual persons have Gender identity Dysphoria...a mental situation that means the mental sex is not paralell to the physical sex. So, when a guy is attracted to a girl, particularly because she is pre op, he is attracted to something that a she feels does not belong on her body: a penis...a cock...a dick...a schlong...whatever..a clitty. To someone who feels a 100% disconnect, its very discomfiorting for a guy to fondel or have any contact with male genitals, because you mind is constantly saying " I have a vagina ...i have a pussy" but your body constantly give you " its not there...its a penis"

Now, not all transsexual women feel that way. Some are only transGENDERED and feel comfortable appearing as a woman and having male genitals. There are certain stages and classes of being trans,and they fall at a lower number, often Benjamin scale 4.Me and a few of my friends call at Benjamin scale 9 and 10, meaining I need to have surgery before I am 40 to be mentally healthy. Some of my friends who are Male to female fall nad a Benji scale of 2...meaning they are only crossdressers. So many continuums.

Desiree'
http://f1.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/bham_mark/detail?.dir=/2003+NYE&.dnm=Desiree.jpg

One more bitter She-Male on her way to the Big Apple.
Lighten up, no one has even got to piss you off out here yet. Are you angry at the Chaser, the gay man or yourself????

Is it me or have some people chose to have a personal conversation in your forum. Now that would piss me off.

and im sure i will love every minute of it.

As for your other comments...i wont even dignify my internationllay known,money banking, white man loving, fat black ass with a response. k

Desiree'
http://concertartist.info/bios/hines.html
http://profiles.yahoo.com/nicemusica

Desiree'
http://f1.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/bham_mark/detail?.dir=/2003+NYE&.dnm=Desiree.jpg

No, I'm not offended. Primarily because my expressions are grounded in my reality. I've been in New York since '86. I've seen so many things, known so many people. My words are chosen very carefully. If you look at my post I referenced "grrls" as escorts. And I referenced professional women with regular jobs as tg ladies. I've always used the term tg ladies. That's what works for me. I will not quarrel over whose term is more or less germaine.
You do seem to have a fair amount of anger. Which, frankly, is par for the course in this life. I, too, have huge amounts of anger sometimes at the way my existence unfolds. I, too, wonder sometimes what the hell am I doing this for? But eventually the feeling are always over come. Lastly, more power to you and your life choices but there probably are some black guys out there who are more than glad you love white boys. Now don't you be offended. Peace and Love.

Im not angry at guys themselves...but i do wish that gusy woudl try to understand the continuums of transsexuality. A post op is post op because she feels that there is a 100% disconnect between her mental sex and her birth sex.

A Non op is non op for several reasons...she may not wan tit because she was to stay "the way God made (her)" , or she may be HIV+ and having bad luck finding a surgeon, or she may be diabetic, meaning she cant take hormones.

And those who are fine being transgendered (non op, but totally content) are nice too. They just have a different walk in life.

Often, guys can get a generalized feeling that all Transsexual women are content with being transgedered or electively non-operational. But many of us do have surgery as major plans in life.

Desiree'

Desiree'
http://f1.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/bham_mark/detail?.dir=/2003+NYE&.dnm=Desiree.jpg