Last night outside your building Messy, around the side, down the space where the trash cans are, all night long was this ghost cat doin a rap in the voice of Elvis about how this glue sniffin owner forgot their pet to death. I only caught one line, "the friskies is gone I ate all the roaches, my master be under the Willyburg bridge huffin on the pudgies of iron workers who is loafin." Word is, Messy, that phantom feline is booked in the next ASPCA benefit.

Dear blog,
Sorry I been gone for a couple a days but Jackie an' I had sumthin' to do. We had a little cleanin' up to do.
My apartment was...
a little messy.
Anyways, everything is all gone...
I mean cleaned up now.
But I gotta get some Glade.

Is we 86'd from "Cabaret Whats-It"?
I forget.
I wanna go see that cute high yella boy that I used to like.
Luxury Lex.
I just know he's got a big one.

Hi Messy. Can I buy you a drink sometime?
-Bucky

Hey Messy - this kid came into Wonder Bar lookin' for you last night. Said he heard you and your friend Jackie were a real hoot. Wanted me to pass this on to you: He's into PNP (whatever that is), he's a total versatile bottom, 19 years old, 9.5x5"u (whatever that means), and lives in or around NYU area, into all types of scenes, and can host or travel. I'll hook you up if you want, but if its good, you gotta share. See you at Sweetie's party...oh, never mind.

Is it true that Messy Bonnie has been thrown back in the hoosecow again. I got an email from her asking to help raise bail. She said she needed $10,000 or they would keep her in the tombs on Rikers. Is this true, Does anyone know for sure?

Hey Bucky,
Sure hon, you can buy me a drinky any ol' time. Do you PNP?

Hey Mr. Joe,
How the hell you been? This kid sounds like good people. He's not an NYU student though is he? I'm kinda stayin' away from them for awhile. Jackie an' I had a little problem...
nevermind.
Anyways, if you see that cute friend a yours Sophia Antoinette, tell him that I think he's kinda cute. Master steelow never showed up for our date an' I'm over him.
Sometimes I think Andrea was right.
Men are pigs.

Oh, an' don't nobody tell Bobby Miller that you seen me 'cause I told him I was in jail and needed some scratch. I know he's loaded.

If you need moola, your dead cat's ghost just got signed by Columbia Artist Management and they are settin up an endorsement deal with Verizon. Sure that alley rapper got a juicy advance. I'd be glad to boost it for a pack of Franklins by threatinin to put light on the backstory of being the pet of some downtown low-life an give you Messy, like, 30 percent.

I think Bobby would put up some 'bail' just to get to visit Rikers. So many men in one place, and they can't go no where.

And watch out for that dude wantin to buy you drinks. Word is he spikes em with roofies, he's in the second hand kidney biz, and half the bars on Ludlow now ban him cause their patrons can't drink on only one kidney.

Uh, sorry, gotta get off my palm pilot, I'm in this coffee shop on Ave D and some ironworkers from the Willyburg bridge are asking me if I know you. Did you know yer name around here is 'Pliersmouth' ?

Yeah I PNP. My name is Bucky and I've heard lots of good things about you. I hear you and that girlfriend Jackie of yours are a hoot. Well, I'll be around and if want to run into me, let me know.

I LOVE roofies!
Don't you?

Hey Messy...I ran into my friend Sophia Antionette again last night, and she says she's been waiting on you to sign her address book! She and I want to take you and your friend Jackie out to see Taboo...she loves Jack Daniels and roofies, too.

Jack Daniels, roofies, and Taboo. That pretty much sums up Messy's personality profile.

Anybody got a line on cheap Jesus Juice?
The licker store that Jackie an' I goes to won't extend our credit anymore.

How about a little more detail on your credit problem. The clerk at that joint told me the card you flashed had the name of some guy from NYU.

Anything you want to tell us Bonnie?

no

My cousin Mary Lou is commin' to visit me this week. She's a real babe an' she ain't got no boyfriend (to speak of). If any of you hotties wanna hook up with her let me know. She'll be here tomorrow. How 'bout you Lex? You like pussy.

Mary Lou

She's comin' with her mom. My aunt Lu Lu. She's pretty hot too.

Lu Lu

It is easy to see where you come by your stunning appearance Mess. That Southern gene pool is deffinitely circular huh. At what age did you have your eleventh toe removed?

Removed?