Fuck that shit.
I'm through with girls.
Theys just bitches.

Dear Blog,
I went down to The Kerballah Center yesterday to try an relax my mind. These bitches Donna an Susan is driving me nuts.

They has GOT to be some way to make money on this Kerballah bullshit. I mean someone is gonna do it. It might as well be me.
But how?
I tried disguisin' myself as "Messy Rhonda" to sell red string to losers but the only one to buy any was some English chick name Esther...
AND SHE NEVER PAID ME!!!
Bitch.

I know...
Maybe people would give me money for a "trip to the Holy Land"...
wherever the hell that is.
Yeah, a "trip to the Holy Land"!

Hi everyone!
Messy Bonnie... I mean Messy Rhonda here.
I want to talk to you all about a project I'm involved with. It's a benefit to send Messy Bonnie Raitt to The Holy Land. She really wants to make a change in her life and work on a Kerbutz. The only thing is the Kerbutz is in The Holy Land and she'll be needin' money for a bus ticket. She really wants to make a change and this Kerbutz is one of the best in The Holy Land.
Send your money to...
Oh don't spend money on a stamp, just give Messy Bonnie the cash when you see her.
Shalome.

hi messy bonnie.
congratulations on your decision to move to a kerbutz. i hope you find the healing you desire.

i used to live on a commune in tennessee.
like a kerbutz, just a little less jew-y.
if the place you find is anything like mine
i think you'll love it.
you can pee anywhere.

Thanks Tex, I'm lookin' forward to this Kerbutz. It's a real high class place, No Blacks, No Jews an' No Gays. That's what the flyer said anyway. I guess that's 'cause it's in The Holy Land an' they got to keep things kosher down there. I'm still tryin' to get the money together for my bus ticket though. Sometimes I think I'll never make it to The Holy Land. Maybe y'all should throw me a benefit concert an' give me the money for my ticket.
Just a thought.

Say the word. I'll throw the stage onto the bridge offramp on Delancy, invite the bridgeworker crew, all of the 6th Precinct lobster shift in their squadcars the backseats of which are your favorite place of work, the busload from the morning run from the Tombs to Rikers, your deceased fiance's husband, Messy Rhonda AND Messy Yoko, PLUS Madonna -I hear Daddy gots her personal mobile number.

word

Dear Blog,
I went to this little social club last night, I think it was on First Ave. an' Eleventh street It said "Islamic Something or other Of America". I thought it might be a good place to have my Kerbutz benefit. It was kinda like the social clubs in Little Italy but you had to take your shoes off. I took my shoes off an went in. It was all these hot guys down on their hands an' knees, bowin' up an' down. I thought it was hot. Then they saw me an freaked out. Not like when I snuck in to Sweetie's party an' she freaked out, these dudes REALLY went ballistic. So I pulled my tits out an said in my sexiest voice, "Hey guys, let's party!" I thought, all these hot dark haired guys in their pajamas an me... LET'S GET BUSY!!!! But they weren't havin' it at all. It was like when Popeye went into Ali Baba & the 40 Theive's cave an' it was Bluto an all these dudes in turbans an he knocked 'em down like bowlin' pins an... well, you get the idea blog. Those woman hatin' fags threw me out on my ass! I guess they is fags 'cause they sure don't like hot lookin' women. Anyhooo, it sure ain't the place to have a party.
Maybe I can have it at the Kerballah Center.

That was a Mosque Bonnie, it's like a church.

Not to mention by just having walked in the place Bon hon, you are now on a US Government watch list. Which just means sooner or later it will be either Gitmo for you, or Dick Chenney's dick.

Mosque Schmosque!
Those guys sure don't know how ta treat a lady!
Trust me...
If anyone is thinkin' a having their party there forget it. They is no fun.

But my new boyfriend IS!!!
He's a lot a fun. His name is Ricardo an I met him in the Tompkins Square Dog Run when I took Butch out to pee. He's a friend a Miss Understood but he's good people.
Here's his picher.

Ricky used to use the name Sly. Same 40 though. Oh, and THAT's what everyone in the park used to call his tool, The Big 40. Better keep those calloused lips a yours tight around Sly's 40 hon, cause its got the attention span of a second hand.

Thanks for the 411 seven, I will.

Dear Blog,
Forget about Ricardo. He good people but I met this hot chick last night and I think I'm in love. Her name is Tiffany and she is so damn hot! I shot this picher a her when she was sleepin'. Ain't she the cutest thing.

This is a picher a her best friend Sheila. I think she used to date Nancy Isla. I better stay away from this one though. Nancy is such a bitch.

Nancy DEFINITELY used to date Sheila. I remember them at "Cheese Whiz". They were such a cute couple.

Nancy Isla at "Cheese Whiz".

Dear Blog,
I'm really in love with Tiffany. We are having such a good time together. And I REALLY like her friends. Theys all good people. Last night I met her friend Lori. She's real cool.
This is Lori.

And Lori took this picher a me last night. (that's me laying down resting).

Dear Blog,
Things are going really good with Tiffany. I really like her alot. She has a lot a class. She has a lot a style too. 'Cause that's what she is... a stylist. She wants to get into stylin' hip hop dudes for their MTV videos. I told her that I didn't think they let black people on MTV. Does anybody know? Do they? 'Cause if they do I got a stylist for 'em. This is a picher a her in a trendy red wig.