I dont need no nasty trade from hatties place when I got this fine garbage man up in my bed right now. Those missing teeth just make for an "easier" fit if you know what I mean girl. He loves the queens Messy! Why dont you just keep away from Jose from now on and stick with the low down trash you been picking up at Hatties Ho House BITCH!!!! Cause Jose will not be picking up garbage LIKE YOU anymore!!

I'll see you at The Parkside Lounge this Sunday bitch.
Then we'll talk about Jose!

wait outside my dressing room door hon! Dont budge til I come out

Can the slings and arrows, McGillicuddy. I do believe Bonnie was referring to Hattie's old place-- 99 Second Avenue-- you know where Linda now does her Bingo act (and I believe where you will soon be giving away a small food processor as one of the prizes)-- and not Wonder Bar.

Bingo? Messy was showin me soma her expert bingo techniques. The one I liked the most was where she pulls out a blank bingo page and a nice felt marker, draws what card she needs to fit the last three or four calls, and simply places her chits accordingly. BINGO y'all! Last week she said she was sendin this great vibrator thats in the shape of the incredible Hulk which she won at the Queens chapter of the D.A.R. to some squeeze in of all places Nigeria. Messy is so generous.

Dear diary,
Please don't tell anyone this but I just got out of the slammer again. That's where I been for the last week and a half.
Disturbin' the peace.
I was just singin' Beatle tunes outside of The Parkside Lounge last Sunday...
Out side of Cheezwhiz...
Come to think of it...
I don't know any Beatle tunes.

I knew it! That moanin bitch in the cell next to me WAS Messy B givin comfort to a plus size streetwalker. If you'd justa pulled your face out of that slut's canyon for a minute I coulda given you my lawyer's phone number. Hope you liked the baloney sandwich.

What I wanna know is how'd you manage singin Robert Johnson's 'Dead Shrimp Smell' at the same time you were so deep downtown?

Hey Seven,
Thanks for the support hon, you're good people.
Yeah,
I met this girl in ja...
I mean in
the country.
She got busted for protestin' or some shit like that.
Her name's Andrea.
She's really hot and REAL smart. She reads books an' shit. She said that I should let that bitch Sweetie have Jose the garbage man 'cause he's no good. She says he takes advantage of me.
She says ALL men take advantage of me.
She says all men are pigs.
I told her that of course I knew that.
That's why we like 'em.
She told me I had alot to learn.
I asked her if she knew Andrea Booze-Wah.
She said she's heard of her.
She said, "Didn't she get thrown out of Canada"?
I really like her alot. Never thought I was a dyke (no matter what that lyin' bitch Nancy Isla says I did to her) but Andrea really gets me hot. Here's a picture she gave me.
AN' DON'T GET NO IDEAS EITHER ISLA!
STAY AWAY!

Dear diary,
I can't sleep 'cause I'm gonna see Andrea tomorrow. I really like her alot.
When I first met her I thought she was the editor of Interview Magazine but she said she wasn't.

Dear diary,
I'm gettin' ready to go see Andrea. She wants me to meet her friends. She says that sisterhood is powerful.
whatever
Alls I know is she munches rug better than any man.
Can't wait to meet her friends. Hope they got some "get high".

Messy ... how about me an you hittin the hot spots of washington heights.....sometime?
Sure you meet some 'good people' there

Sure hon,
sounds like fun. We just can't talk to "the enemy".
MEN!
It's sisters doin' it for themselves Anna. That's what my girlfriend Andrea says. She's good people. Can't wait for you to meet her.

Dear diary,
We can concentrate our thoughts and concerns on the real victims of the malady of misogyny: the psychogenically challenged male who needs all the understanding we can give him. Apparently men's psyches are 'troubled', they are in 'masculine turmoil' as a result of universal experiences in 'the male developmental cycle'. Lord, how easily the image of the oppressed is appropriated.

well...
that's what Andrea says anyway.
She sure knows how to crack open clams. I'll say that for her.

I want you to meet my new girlfriend Andrea. She's good people. Hot. She's got a friend for you too hon. Trust, these girls know how dig for gold! They're a little bit on the hairy side but then so was Jose. Actually Andrea has more of a beard than Jose ever will!
Gimme a call when you get up.

Isn't that Andrea Dworkin, the famous man-hating lesbian radical feminist?

That's way too many words big guy.
She's my man now!

Bonnie,
I don't quite understand this road you are going down. You are so not a dyke and definately not a feminist. What is this spell Andrea Dworkin has over you? Is she that good in the sack?
By the way...
I saw your ugly toothless Dominican garbage man ex, Jose. He said to say hi. He asked if that rash has cleared up yet. He said if it has give him a call.

[This message was edited by daddy on 10-31-03 at 06:52 PM.]

Dear diary,
I really like Andrea but I keep thinkin' about Jose.
What should I do?
Andrea says, misogynistic fear centres on the flesh that makes woman man's opposite and renders her unknowable to him. Misogynists tremble before the bodily labyrinth: veins, intestines, sexual organs. With her lunar cycles and genital effluvia, woman destroys the idealist's illusions of a pristine universe. But physical repugnance is only part of the picture. For many misogynists revulsion grows into an indictment not of feminine flesh but of her spirit, her intellect, her character and will.
But I don't know...
I kinda miss that big fat Dominican Chorizo!

[This message was edited by Messy Bonnie Raitt on 11-03-03 at 05:06 PM.]

Dear diary,
I really like Andrea alot but I just got an Email from a really hot guy. He seems really nice.
This is what he wrote...

quote:

---

yo.. bonnie.. I'm 6'3" .. 195lbs... sporta badly.. clean shaven... brown skin.... and got my wifey but like some extra ass on da side.. nah i mean
I like dem nuccas dat take 2 dicks.. double penetration and gettiin tag team if u into mad aggressive nuccas tappin dat ass ... then holla at ya boy... if u like to be in group ... holla at ya boy ... i can get wit spankin, piss, dildo's, 3somes or more, etc and yo ... if u into a 3some wit a chick that's a banger ... i fuck her ... then i fuck u... then she strap on and we both fuck u... DEFINITELY holla at ya boy... aiight.... 1

---

I know Andrea would be really pissed if I saw him but he seems really sweet.
What should I do?

Sounds to me like someone has stayed too long at the sushi bar!