Dear Blog,
I guess it's time for me to start Part 6.

If anyone wants to catch up you can go back to
Messy Bonnie's Blog Part 5
And then Part 4
And then Part 3
And then Part 2
And then Part 1

OK, Let me bring your fans up to date Bonnie.

Messy-You-Know-Who has been dating this guy named Alan who says he owns "The Cock", a very classy (according to Bonnie) joint in the East Village.

This is Alan.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: daddy,

But Alan has knocked her up and she's having his baby.

One can only imagine.

Dear Blog,
I need a cigarette.
But I'm too tired to go out and get a pack.
Now that I'm pregnant I'm gonna need some help. I'm smoking for two now.
It's hard doin' this baby thing alone.
Where is Alan when I need a cigarette?
Oh well, I guess I'll just take a couple a roofies and go to bed and worry about it when I wake up tomorrow.

Bonnie I meant to thank you for your Christmas Card, a bit late to arrive but thanks anyway...

LOL

Hey Anna Nicole,
You got any of them diapers left? I'm gonna be needin' some.

I got a $25 dollar US savings bond for yer progeny so's they can generate the 42 million dollars for college tuition by the time they are elligible.

Er else Mommy's bail. For a lifetime of civil infractions.

Good lookin' out seven.
I want my kid to go to NYU an live in one of them big tall suppositories.
Say things like "Hey Dude" if it's a boy or "Oh my God" if it's a girl.
MY kid is gonna have a ipod!

But right now I need a cig.

Oh man I feel like shit today.
I threw up all afternoon.
I guess I got a little messed up last night but hey...
I'm partyin' for two now, what do you expect?

Roofies an' Absolute really go down easy when you're preggers.

Hey does anyone know...
Does being pregnant make you gassy?
'Cause I've been farting all day.
I can't stand being in the same room with myself.
Everywhere I go people make faces and gag.
I wonder how they know it's ME that cut the cheese?
I smell like rotten eggs.

I think I'll go to Happy Valley.

Dear blog,
I don't know where the hell I've been for the last 3 days. I woke up tonight with the biggest hangover. I wonder where I was?
Oh well, who cares.
I got a lot to do tomorrow.
I got to get me one of them Mr. Spock baby books.
No one can say I'm not gonna be a good mother!
I'm gonna do everything by the book.
But first I need a cig.

Hey Bonnie, I know someone who does great prenatal chiropracty for the kid. Really likes to get in up to her elbows. Let me know if this sounds good to you.

Sound good for me but will my baby get off too?
How does that work?

It's all about the baby. Your pleaz is a side-effect but completely guaranteed.

Hey Bonnie, I saw you outside Sweetie's party. I think it was Daddy that told her door staff not to let you in. Daddy knows how much you like to paw the patrons and I think he wanted all that flesh for himself. Especially Nurse Randella.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: seven,

Don't tell her that!
That's ALL I need, Messy Bonnie after me.

Dear Blog,
I don't know if it's because I'm preggers but I haven't taken a dump in months.
That can't be good.
I guess that's why I fart all the time.
Susanne had 'em 86 me from Happy Valley for that.
She said it was rude.
I can't help it.

It really pissed me off that you were tossed from HV. I had to get someone else to spill their drink on me. And when Amanda got up to dance and I took a seat vacated by her pals she just looked at me like I had to be stupid, no one would even think of stealing her bench besides Messy Bonnie Raitt. The capper though was the bartender who came over to kind of move all of Amanda's bottles so they would be just out of my reach. I guess he knows who I hang with. About the blockage though hon, just guzzle a six ounce of tobasco followed by three double espressos. Voila! I wouldn't want to see you back at HV wearing a plug.

Good lookin' out seven but I tried that.
Nuthin' seems to work.
I haven't taken a dump for months now.
Ever since I got pregnant with Alan's baby I been stuffed up like a turkey on thanksgiving.
I'm all blow'd up like one a them blimps.
I know some a that must be my baby but damn...

Well, I take no pleasure in saying, but, it sounds like the only thing left is the manual correction. Better ask someone like Daddy who is good with the fist, if you know what I mean.