Hi everyone.
I've decided to start a diary.

Today I woke up...
OK OK, so I haven't been to bed
but it's a really lovely day and I'm feeling really REALLY good about myself.

So I hope everyone enjoys my diary and feels free to join in.
Just remember...
it's all about ME!
ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!

Now I gotta pee.

[This message was edited by daddy on 11-14-03 at 09:00 PM.]

Dear diary,
It's me again...

Bonnie.
You know... BONNIE!
MESSY BONNIE RAITT!!!!!!

damn
My own diary ignores me.

Dear diary,
I met this really cool chick today.
well, I didn't actually meet her but she Emailed me.
She's a princess.
No, she's not Jewish. She's from Nigeria and her father was the president. There was this revolution and they kicked her family out. The thing is they have millions of dollars in the bank in Nigeria. She says she just needs some cash to get to her money and when she gets it she's going to give me some.
I believe her.
Too bad I don't have any money 'cause I would definately give it to her.
She's good people.

Dear diary,
How's come I'm the only one in here?

I'm bored.
I wonder what Jackie Bigalow is doing?

Bonnie... girrl....
I think I found some of yer ole gurlfriends..
www.womenbehindbars.com

See if you see any of your ole pals...
good luck

Thanks Anna, You're a real pal. You're good people.

But how come nobody's sayin' to me
"Run, Dance, Scream Bonnie!"
"Be proud of what you've accomplished Bonnie."
SHEEEEEEEE-ITT!

Today is...
who the hell knows.
I found an 8-ball that Jackie Bigalow left last night.

Good day!

I'm sure you're just confused Bonnie. Folks do run and scream from you. You just think that they're dancing.

Hmmmmmm
I have noticed that.

Dear diary,
I woke up today with a monkey on my back.
Well, I thought it was a monkey.
It was just jackie Bigalow.
I forgot she stayed over.

Dear diary,
Just got up.
Think I'm gonna order Chinese.
Alls I do is order 1 egg roll but I get this guy choo to deliver it if you know what I mean. He's about 60 and kinda gnarley but he really knows how to deliver if you know what I mean. Don't speak no American but who cares. Don't need to talk to him. OR tip him.

Better pee first.

Dear diary,
SHEEEEEEEE-ITT!

Jackie Bigalow took all my change I had on the dresser. Now I can't order that egg roll.
SHEEEEEEEE-ITT!
What the hell.
I'm gonna order it any way.

Dear diary,
That crazy Chinaman Choo just left. All pissed off 'cause I didn't pay him for the eggroll. He still "delivered" it though if you know what I mean.
heh heh heh

I just said, "Get it from Bigalow"!

Good day so far.

Dear diary,
Just woke up. Really don't have nuthin' to say.

Dear diary,
Just had lunch. Chinese again.
Still got nuthin' to say.

Dear diary,
STILL got nuthin' to say.

What the hell is this diary crap about anyway.
I guess it's a record of my journey.

I wonder what Jackie Bigalow is doing?

Ha ro.

Get the hell outa my diary you hairy loon.

Bonnie,
Have you ever considerd creating a novel out of your diary? Kind of like that childrens author Judy Blume? Imagine you could do your own spin.....Are You There God? It's Me Messy.
It would be a must read for every wanna be drug addict and derelict coming up thru the ranks. Ever thought of an eggroll cookbook? 100 things to make a pipe out of? You have potential Bonnie. Your diary is "riveting".

"Strangers with Candy" has already been made.